Got another
Christmas card in the mail. The typical scene: Mary (and Jesus)
on a donkey, Joseph leading. I've seen it every year. Same picture
-- new paint.
But this time, something struck me. The humility of it. Mary,
pregnant with God -- Emmanuel, the Messiah, the Saviour, the
Alpha and the Omega, the King of kings, the Lord of lords --
riding on an ass.
Then I thought of them arriving at the Inn. The humiliation of
being turned down for a room. The humiliation of having to stay
in a stinky manger with stinky animals: Christ, Hope of the world!
...to be born in a bed animals lick their meal from.
Humility.
Then it dawned on me: this is the same road Jesus must take again
to be born anew in our hearts. The road of humility.
The donkey, to me, is a symbol of our stubbornness. And stubbornness
is rooted in pride, the opposite of humility. Jesus wants to
come into our hearts this Christmas in a deeper, more life transforming
way. But our stubbornness, like a donkey that won't budge, will
prevent Christ from being able to budge too. Too stubborn to
forgive our neighbour, too stubborn to admit we are wrong, too
stubborn to give up a habit, too stubborn to let go of this or
that. Admission of stubbornness frees the hooves of humility
so Christ can advance toward us. Admitting fault is the beginning
of freedom. Honesty is a sister of humility.
Of course, we say, the innkeeper should have given up his own
bed for the pregnant woman. But who are we to speak? We can't
even give up the remote control. We can barely give our time
to others, especially our family. We put more money in the office
coke machine than the collection basket. If Jesus is in others,
especially the poorest, then really, are we no different than
the innkeeper? We turn down the King of kings everyday when we
serve ourself first, when we put our will before God and neighbour.
So becoming a servant to others, especially in our home, allows
Jesus to come closer to us. Letting go of self is another step
to freedom. Self-sacrifice is also a sister to humility.
While the supreme act of humility was for God to become human
in a womb, his second act of supreme humility was to be born
among animals, in a manger. I can see Joseph crouched beside
his precious Mary. He looks up for a moment at a cow a few feet
away, it's misty breath hovering in the moonlight, the quiet
of the evening soaking the air. Then the donkey flatulates. If
it were me, I probably would have said, "This is ridiculous!
Mary, I'll get you a room if it's the last...." But Joseph
didn't try and change a thing. He accepted the state he was in.
Jesus wants you to accept the state you are in. Do you loathe
who you see in the mirror? Do you feel worthless as you lay on
your pillow at night? Are you lonely? Do you feel you are insignificant?
Do you feel like an unlovable sinner -- too sinful for even God?
Then you are the manger -- the heart -- that Jesus has journeyed
to be born in. He came for the sick, not the well (Matt 9:12).
The paramount act of humility is to spread our arms in resignation,
like Jesus did on the cross, and simply allow God to love us
as we are; to willingly allow Christ to be born in the messiness
of our hearts, with the stench of sin and piles of pride all
around him. This is difficult. But when we begin to accept our
weaknesses and allow God to love us, we have taken another step
towards freedom... and Jesus has taken another step forward into
our hearts on this road of humility, now paved with our sorrow
and tears.
We cannot love our sinfulness. Rather God wants us to love the
"new man" as Paul calls it; that person within, born
at baptism, and being transformed into the likeness of Jesus.
In the meantime, we are called to humbly accept that we cannot
change ourselves; humbly accept the free gift of God's love and
the gift of eternal life. Self-acceptance, then, is another sister
of humility.
"Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you"
(James 4:10). When we humble ourselves through repentance, self-sacrifice,
and acceptance of ourselves and God, Jesus is truly able to be
born in us, just as he was born in a humble manger. This is our
exaltation: Christ living his life in us, transforming us, and
setting us free. Thus, humility is the foundation of the other
virtues.
It is also comforting to know that Mary and Joseph are interceding,
indeed accompanying Christ to the center of our hearts... so
long as the road is a humble one.
--Mark Mallett
(Photo by Fred Martel)
