Op tyd en afleiding

LENTEN RETREAT
Dag 35

OF Natuurlik is een van die groot struikelblokke en skynbare spanning tussen 'n mens se binnelewe en die buite-eise van jou beroep tyd. 'Ek het nie tyd om te bid nie! Ek is 'n ma! Ek het nie tyd nie! Ek werk heeldag! Ek is 'n student! Ek reis! Ek bestuur 'n maatskappy! Ek is 'n priester met 'n groot gemeente ... Ek het nie tyd nie!"

A bishop once said to me that every priest he knew that had left the priesthood, had eerste left his life of prayer. Tyd is liefde, and when we stop praying, we begin to close off the “propane” valve of the Holy Spirit that fuels the flames of both love of God and neighbour. Then the love in our hearts begins to cool, and we begin a sorrowful descent toward the earthly plane of worldly passions and inordinate desires. As Jesus said,

They are the people who hear the word, but worldly anxiety, the lure of riches, and the craving for other things intrude and choke the word, and it bears no fruit. (Mark 4:18-19)

And so, we must resist this temptation nie om te bid. At the same token, how much time we spend in prayer has to suit our state of life. Here, St. Francis de Sales offers some timeless wisdom:

Toe God die wêreld geskep het, het Hy beveel dat elke boom vrugte moes dra volgens sy soort; en selfs so bied Hy Christene - die lewende bome van sy kerk - om vrugte van toewyding voort te bring, elkeen volgens sy soort en roeping. Elkeen moet 'n ander toewyding oefen - die edele, die ambagsman, die dienaar, die prins, die meisie en die vrou; en verder moet sodanige praktyk aangepas word volgens die sterkte, die roeping en die pligte van elke individu. Ek vra u, my kind, sou dit gepas wees dat 'n biskop probeer om die eensame lewe van 'n Carthusian te lei? En as die vader van 'n gesin so ongeag die voorsiening vir die toekoms as 'n Capuchin sou maak, as die ambagsman die dag in die kerk deurgebring het soos 'n godsdienstige, as die godsdienstige hom besig gehou het met alle soorte sake namens sy naaste as biskop 'n beroep gedoen om te doen, sou so 'n toewyding nie belaglik, sleg gereguleer en ondraaglik wees nie? -Inleiding tot die toegewyde lewe, Deel I, hfst. 3, p.10

My spiritual director once said to me, “What is holy is not always holy for jou.” Indeed, the one true and infallible path of holiness is the wil van God. That is why we must be careful to discover, with God’s help, our own particular way to die Way when it comes to the interior life. We should imitate the virtue of the Saints; but when it comes to jou prayer life, follow the Holy Spirit who will lead you down the path most suited to your present state of life.

In this regard, how do we deal with interruptions and distractions binne one’s prayer-time, especially as parents with small children, or when the phone rings, or someone shows up at the door? Again, follow the infallible path of the will of God, the duty of the moment, the “rule of love.” That is, follow Jesus.

…he withdrew… in a boat to a lonely place apart. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. As he went ashore he saw a great throng; and he had compassion on them, and healed their sick. (Matt 14:13-14)

Of course, we should do our best to choose a time when we will most likely nie be interrupted.

The choice of the time and duration of the prayer arises from a determined will, revealing the secrets of the heart. One does not undertake contemplative prayer only when one has the time: one makes time for the Lord, with the firm determination not to give up, no matter what trials and dryness one may encounter. -Kategismus van die Katolieke Kerk, N. 2710

When we are alone with God, we should keep distractions like cellphones, email, television, the radio, etc. at bay. But if a diaper needs to be changed, or if your spouse calls for help, or a friend knocks at the door needing to talk, then recognize the face of Jesus in them, coming to you in the disguise of another’s poverty, another’s need. Generosity in this moment will only serve to increase the Flame of Love in your heart, not dispel it. And then, if possible, return again to your prayer and finish it.

Isn’t it comforting to know that Jesus was also distracted by others? When it comes to the difficulties in prayer, we het a Lord who totally understands.

Omdat hy self getoets is deur wat hy gely het, kan hy diegene wat getoets word, help. (Heb 2:18)

Of course, the most difficult if not painful aspect of prayer is the geestelike distractions that assail us as we try to pray, whether privately or at Mass. These can be either the manifestation of our own passions, or temptations from the powers of darkness. How to deal with them is often not to deal with them at all.

The habitual difficulty in prayer is distraction… To set about hunting down distractions would be to fall into their trap, when all that is necessary is to turn back to our heart: for a distraction reveals to us what we are attached to, and this humble awareness before the Lord should awaken our preferential love for him and lead us resolutely to offer him our heart to be purified. Therein lies the battle, the choice of which master to serve. -Kategismus van die Katolieke Kerk, N. 2729

Here is the key: it is possible to pray, even in the midst of distractions, because our “secret” place of meeting with the Lord is in the depths of the heart. Let them knock at the door… just don’t open it.  It is possible, too, to “pray always”, even when we can’t pray in solitude, by doing the duty of the moment—even the smallest of things—with great love. Then your work becomes a prayer. Servant of God Catherine Doherty said to parents in particular, 

Remember that when you do the duty of the moment, you do something for Christ. You make a home for Him, in the place where your family dwells. You feed Him when you feed your family. You wash His clothes when you do their laundry. You help Him in a hundred ways as a parent. Then, when the time comes for you to appear before Christ to be judged, He will say to you, “I was hungry and you gave Me to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me to drink. I was sick and you looked after Me.” -Liewe ouers, uit die "Moments of Grace" -kalender, 9 Maart

That is, how could He say you neglected to be with Him in prayer, when you were in fact caring for Him?

So, even if the cold winds of distraction blow against the ‘balloon” of your heart, they cannot penetrate the interior, which remains still and warm—unless you let them. And thus, sometimes prayer, seemingly tossed about by these winds, can remain fruitful by simply keeping the “pilot light” of desire lit, a desire to do His will in everything. And so, we can say to God:

I want to pray and reflect, Father, but a great throng is at the door of my heart. So right now, know that I love you, and place my mere “five loaves and two fish”—that is, my desire—in the basket of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, that you may multiply them according to your good will.

One cannot always meditate, but one can always enter into inner prayer, independently of the conditions of health, work, or emotional state. The heart is the place of this quest and encounter, in poverty and in faith. -Kategismus van die Katolieke Kerk, N. 2710

OPSOMMING EN SKRIF

The time we devote in prayer should be in proportion to our vocation. The distractions we endure are an opportunity to prove our love for the Master.

Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people; but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away. (Matt 19:13-14)