{"id":19612,"date":"2018-05-25T00:00:46","date_gmt":"2018-05-25T06:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/?p=19612"},"modified":"2018-05-25T20:07:54","modified_gmt":"2018-05-26T02:07:54","slug":"human-sexuality-and-freedom-part-iii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/human-sexuality-and-freedom-part-iii\/","title":{"rendered":"Human Sexuality and Freedom &#8211; Part III","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"<p align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"center\" style=\"display: block; float: none; margin: 5px auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Mandignity.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"590\" height=\"491\" data-position=\"3\" \/><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">ON THE DIGNITY OF MAN AND WOMAN<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>THERE<\/b> is a joy that we must rediscover as Christians today: the joy of seeing the face of God in the other\u2014and this includes those who have compromised their sexuality. In our contemporary times, St. John Paul II, Blessed Mother Teresa, Servant of God Catherine de Hueck Doherty, Jean Vanier and others come to mind as individuals who found the capacity to recognize God\u2019s image, even in the distressing disguise of poverty, brokenness, and sin. They saw, as it were, the \u201ccrucified Christ\u201d in the other.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>There is a tendency, particularly among fundamentalist Christians today, to \u201cdamn\u201d others who are not \u201csaved,\u201d to blast the \u201cimmoral&#8221;, to chastise the \u201cwicked\u201d, and denounce the \u201cdepraved.\u201d Yes, Scripture tells us what will become of any of us who persist in serious and mortal sin, which is utter rejection of God\u2019s order. Those who attempt to water down the truth of the Final Judgment and reality of Hell <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_1');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_1');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_1\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[1]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_1\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">cf. <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/hell-is-for-real\">Hell is for Real<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> do a grave injustice and harm to souls. At the same time, Christ did not charge the Church to condemn, but to be gentle in her teaching, <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_2');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_2');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_2\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[2]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_2\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">cf. Gal 6:1<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> merciful to her enemies, <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_3');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_3');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_3\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[3]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_3\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">cf. Luke 6:36<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> and courageous to the point of death in service to the truth. <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_4');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_4');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_4\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[4]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_4\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">cf. Mark 8:36-38<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_4').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_4', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> But one cannot be truly merciful and loving unless there is an authentic understanding of our human dignity that encompasses not only the body and emotions, but soul of man.<\/p>\n<p>With the coming release of a new encyclical on ecology, there is no better time to examine the greatest abuse of creation in our times, the&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><b>&#8230;dissolution of the image of man, with extremely grave consequences.<\/b> \u2014Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (BENEDICT XVI), May, 14, 2005, Rome; speech on European identity; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.catholicculture.org\/news\/features\/index.cfm?recnum=29573\">CatholicCulture.org<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>THE TRUE \u201cGIFT\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A strange idea reared its head during the recent Synod on the Family in Rome. In the interim report released by the Vatican, Section 50\u2014which was <i>not<\/i> voted with approval by the Synod Fathers, but was published nonetheless\u2014says that &#8220;Homosexuals have gifts and qualities to offer to the Christian community,&#8221; and asked whether our communities are capable of &#8220;valuing their sexual orientation, without compromising Catholic doctrine on the family and matrimony\u201d. <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_5');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_5');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_5\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[5]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_5\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">cf. <i>Relate post disceptationem, <\/i>n. 50; <a href=\"http:\/\/press.vatican.va\/content\/salastampa\/en\/bollettino\/pubblico\/2014\/10\/13\/0751\/03037.html\">press.vatican.va<\/a><\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_5').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_5', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/p>\n<p>First, I want to say that over the last ten years, I have dialogued behind the scenes with a number of men and women who have\u00a0struggled with same-sex attraction. <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"left alignleft\" style=\"margin: 2px 5px 2px 5px;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/mountain-top-cross3_Fotor.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"251\" height=\"312\" data-position=\"0\" \/>In every circumstance, they approached me with the desire to find healing, for they could perceive that their emotions did not match their plumbing, so to speak. You might recall <a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/a-letter-of-sorrow\/\"><i>A Letter of Sorrow<\/i><\/a> I received from one such young man. His description of his struggle is real and agonizing, as it is for many\u2014some who are our sons, daughters, siblings, cousins, and friends (see <a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/the-third-way\/\"><i>The Third Way<\/i><\/a>). It has been an incredible privilege to journey with these people. I see them as no different than myself or others I\u2019ve counselled, insofar as many of us carry deep and pervasive struggles that prevent us from becoming truly whole in Christ and leave one grappling for peace.<\/p>\n<p>But does being \u201cgay&#8221; bring specific \u201cgifts and qualities\u201d to the Body of Christ? It is an important question related to a deeper search for meaning in our times as more and more people turn to fashion, tatoos, plastic surgery and \u201cgender theory\u201d to re-define themselves. <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_6');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_6');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_6\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[6]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_6\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">\u201cGender theory\u201d is the idea that one\u2019s biology can be set at birth, ie. male or female, but that one can determine his \u201cgender\u201d apart from his sex. Pope Francis has condemened this theory twice now.<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_6').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_6', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> I put this\u00a0question to a man I know who lived with another male for several years. He left that lifestyle and has since become a true model of Christian manhood to many. His response:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><b>I don&#8217;t think that homosexuality should be raised on high as a gift and a treasure in and of itself. There are many gifts and treasures, living treasures, in and ou<\/b><b>tside of the Church who have been formed into <\/b><b>these gifts and <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"right alignright\" style=\"margin-right: 2px; margin-left: 2px;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/joutnry_Fotor.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"285\" height=\"342\" data-position=\"2\" \/><\/b><b>treasures in part because of the way they have lived with and through this tension\u2026 I have come to a place of honoring and blessing the struggles in my journey, without proclaiming them something good in and<\/b><b> of themselves. A paradox, of course! God loves to use divine tension to form and grow and strengthen and sanctify us: His divine economy. May my life, faithfully lived (I have failed along the way and walk the razor edge even today) someday before or after I die, reveal a path of hope, a way to joy, a startling example of God&#8217;s good work in the most unexpected of lives.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>In other words, the Cross\u2014whatever shape and form it takes in our individual lives\u2014always transforms us and bears fruit when we allow ourselves to be fastened to it. That is, <i>when we live, even in our weaknesses and struggles, in obedience to Christ, <\/i>we will bring gifts and qualities to others around us as a result of our becoming more <i>like<\/i> Christ. The language in the Synod report suggests that an inherent disorder <em>in itself<\/em> is a gift, which it never can be since it is in conflict with God\u2019s order. After all, that is the language the Church has continually used in describing the homosexual tendency:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><strong>\u2026men and women with homosexual tendencies \u201cmust be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.\u201d They are called, like other Christians, to live the virtue of chastity. The homosexual inclination is however \u201cobjectively disordered\u201d and homosexual practices are \u201csins gravely contrary to chastity.\u201d <\/strong> \u2014<a href=\"http:\/\/www.vatican.va\/roman_curia\/congregations\/cfaith\/documents\/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20030731_homosexual-unions_en.html\"><em>Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons<\/em>;<\/a> n. 4<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Asking the Church community to begin \u201cvaluing their sexual orientation, without compromising Catholic doctrine on the family and matrimony\u201d is a contradiction in principles. As countless men and women who have left the homosexual \u201clifestyle\u201d can attest, their dignity goes beyond their sexuality to their <i>entire<\/i> being. As one of the subjects in the beautiful documentary <i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/the-third-way\/\">The Third Way<\/a> <\/i>stated: \u201cI am not gay. <i>I am Dave<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The true gift we have to offer is ourselves, not just our sexuality.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>THE DEEPER DIGNITY<\/p>\n<p>Sexuality is only one facet of who we are, though it speaks to something deeper\u00a0<img decoding=\"async\" class=\"left alignleft\" style=\"margin: 2px 5px 2px 5px;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/pope_benedict_xvi.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"309\" data-position=\"0\" \/>than mere flesh: it is an expression of the image of God.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><b>Relativizing the difference between the sexes\u2026 tacitly confirms those bleak theories which seek to remove all relevance from a human being\u2019s masculinity or femininity, as if this were a purely biological matter.<\/b> \u2014POPE BENEDICT XVI, WorldNetDaily, December 30th, 2006 <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Still, contrary to what the media projects today, our human dignity does not hinge entirely upon our sexuality. Being made in God\u2019s image means that we were created <em>for<\/em> Him with the capacity to love Him and love one another in a communion of persons. That is the highest dignity and glory that belongs to a man or woman.<\/p>\n<p>That is why the life of the consecrated: of priests, nuns, and lay people in a state of celibacy is called a \u201cprophetic\u201d witness by the Church. Because their voluntary choice to live chastly points to a greater good, to something transcendent, something beyond the beautiful and solemn yet temporal act of sexual intercourse, and that is <i>union with God<\/i>. <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_7');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_7');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_7\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[7]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_7\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8216;May their witness become that more evident in this Year of the Consecrated that the Church is presently living.&#8217; cf. <i>Apostolic Letter of Pope Francis to All Consecrated People<\/i>, <a href=\"https:\/\/w2.vatican.va\/content\/francesco\/en\/apost_letters\/documents\/papa-francesco_lettera-ap_20141121_lettera-consacrati.html\">www.vatican.va<\/a><\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_7').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_7', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"left alignright\" style=\"margin-right: 2px; margin-left: 2px;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/nuns_bikes.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"307\" height=\"204\" data-position=\"0\" \/>Their witness is a \u201csign of contradiction\u201d in a generation that believes it is \u201cimpossible\u201d to be happy without an orgasm. But that is because we are also a generation that believes less and less in the Divine, and thus, less and less in our own capacity for the divine. As St. Paul wrote:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace;\">For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free person, there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Gal 3:27-28)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>As the Saints testify, union with God exceeds the joys of the temporal as much as the Sun exceeds the light of a lamp.\u00a0Still, it is wrong, a heresy in fact, to consider sexual intercourse as somehow a necessary \u201csin\u201d for those &#8220;too weak&#8221; to embrace a celibate life. For if we are to speak about \u201cunion\u201d with Christ, we must also see that sex is a beautiful reflection and anticipation of that union: Christ plants the \u201cseed\u201d of His Word in the heart of His Bride, the Church, which produces \u201clife\u201d within her. Indeed, the entirety of Scriptures are the story of a &#8220;marriage covenant\u201d between God and His people that will culminate at the end of human history in the \u201cwedding day of the Lamb.\u201d <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_8');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_8');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_8\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[8]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_8\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">cf. Rev 19:7<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_8').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_8', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> In this regard, <i>chastity <\/i>is the anticipation of this eternal Wedding Feast.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>CHASTITY: THE GREAT ANTICIPATION<\/p>\n<p>Our sexuality does not define who we are in Christ\u2014it defines who we are <em>in the order of creation<\/em>. Thus, the person struggling with their gender identity should never feel deprived of God\u2019s love nor of their salvation, so long as they live their life in conformity with the natural moral law. But that must be said of all of us. In fact, the idea that chastity is only for the \u201ccelibate\u201d is part of the impoverishment of our contemporary understanding of sexuality.<\/p>\n<p>Sex has become an end in itself such that our generation cannot even conceive the possibility of consecrated life, let alone two <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"right\" style=\"float: right; margin: 5px;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/intimate-warm-cozy-winter-wedding-photo-by-alison-conklin-photography-61.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"296\" height=\"197\" data-position=\"2\" \/>young people remaining chaste until marriage. And yet, in the Christian community through which I move, I see these young couples all the time. They too are a \u201csign of contradiction\u201d in a generation that has reduced sexuality to mere recreation. But that does not mean that, once married, anything goes.<\/p>\n<p>Carmen Marcoux, author of <i>Arms of Love <\/i>and co-founder of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.purewitness.com\">Pure Witness Ministries<\/a> once said, \u201cPurity is not a line we cross, <i>it is a direction we go<\/i>.\u201d What a revolutionary insight! Because all too often, even Christians seeking to be in God\u2019s will with their bodies reduce that end to questions such as, \u201cCan we do this? Can we do that? What\u2019s wrong with this? etc.\u201d And yes, I will answer these questions soon enough in Part IV. But I didn\u2019t start with these questions because purity has less to do with abstaining from immoral acts and more to do with a <i>state of the heart. <\/i>As Jesus said,<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace;\">Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. (Matt 5:8)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>This Scripture has to do with <i>intention <\/i>and <i>desire. <\/i>It has to do with the disposition to fulfill the law: <i>to love the Lord your God with all your heart\u2026 and your neighbour as yourself<\/i>. With this disposition in one\u2019s heart, God and the good of your neighbour will come first in <i>everything, <\/i>including what happens in the bedroom. In the context of sexuality, then, it is not about what I can \u201cget\u201d from the other, but what I can \u201cgive.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hence, chastity is something that must also be part of Christian marriage. Chastity, in fact, is what sets us apart from the animal kingdom. In animals, sexual life&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><b>\u2026exists on the level of nature and the instinct linked to it, whereas in the case of people it exists on the level of the person and morality.<\/b> \u2014POPE JOHN PAUL II, <em>Love and Responsibility<\/em>, Kindle version by Pauline Books &amp; Media, Loc 516<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>That is to say, rather bluntly, that a husband is not making love to a vagina, but to <i>his wife. <\/i>The natural God-given aspect of pleasure in\u00a0sex, then, is not an end in itself, but must be carefully fostered and ordered by both the husband and wife <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"left alignleft\" style=\"margin: 1px 5px 1px 5px;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/communion.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"295\" height=\"246\" data-position=\"0\" \/>toward the communion of love. This happiness and well-being of the other, then, takes into account the natural cycles of the woman&#8217;s body as well as her emotional and physical capacities. Chastity is practiced by both the husband and wife in those times of abstinence from sexual intercourse either to space children in the growth of their families, or to foster their mutual love and order their appetites toward that end. <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_9');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_19612_1('footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_9');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_9\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[9]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_9\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">cf. &#8220;But it is equally true that it is exclusively in the former case that husband and wife are ready to abstain from intercourse during the fertile period as often as for reasonable motives the birth of another child is not desirable. And when the infertile period recurs, they use their married intimacy to express their mutual love and safeguard their fidelity toward one another. In doing this they certainly give proof of a true and authentic love.\u201d \u2014POPE PAUL VI, <i><a href=\"http:\/\/w2.vatican.va\/content\/paul-vi\/en\/encyclicals\/documents\/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae.html\">Humanae Vitae<\/a>, <\/i>n. 16<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_9').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_19612_1_9', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/p>\n<p>But chastity, because at its core it is a state of the heart, must also be expressed <i>during <\/i><i>sexual intimacy. <\/i>How is that possible? In two ways. The first is that not every act that results in orgasm is therefore moral. Sex has to be expressed according to the Creator\u2019s design, according, therefore, to the natural moral law, as we\u2019ve discussed in Parts I and II. So in Part IV, we\u2019ll examine in detail the question of what is lawful and what isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>The second aspect of chastity during sexual intimacy has to do with the disposition of the heart toward the other: <i>of seeing the face of Christ in one\u2019s spouse. <\/i><\/p>\n<p>In this regard, St. John Paul II offers a beautiful and practical teaching. Sexual arousal of a man and woman differ greatly between the sexes. If left to our fallen nature alone, a<img decoding=\"async\" class=\"right\" style=\"float: right; margin: 5px;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/POPE-JOHN-PAUL-II_Fotor.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"261\" height=\"340\" data-position=\"2\" \/> man could very easily \u201cuse\u201d his wife, who takes much longer to reach arousal. John Paul II taught that a man should strive to bring his body into harmony with that of his wife such that&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><b>\u2026the climax of sexual arousal takes place both in a man and in a woman, and that it occurs inasmuch as possible in both spouses at the same time.<\/b> \u2014POPE JOHN PAUL II, <em>Love and Responsibility<\/em>, Kindle version by Pauline Books &amp; Media, Loc 4435f<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>That\u2019s a profound insight that <i>transcends<\/i> pleasure while at the same time dignifying it by placing the focus of the marital act upon mutual self-giving. As Pope Paul VI said,<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><b>The Church is the first to praise and commend the application of human intelligence to an activity in which a rational creature such as man is so closely associated with his Creator.<\/b> \u2014POPE PAUL VI, <i>Humanae Vitae<\/i>, n. 16<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>And there is the key to understanding the role of chastity within marriage: the marital act between a husband and wife should reflect the complete self-giving of the Creator who laid His life down upon the \u201cmarriage bed\u201d of the Cross. Sexual intimacy, which is <i>sacramental, <\/i>should also lead the other to God. In the beautiful story of the marriage of Tobiah and Sarah, her father instructs his soon to be son-in-law on their wedding night:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace;\">Take her and bring her safely to your father. (Tobit 7:12)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>That is what a husband and a wife are ultimately to do: take one another, and their children, safely to the Father in Heaven.<\/p>\n<p>Thus, \u201cchastity of the heart\u201d fosters not only true intimacy between a couple, but with God as well, because it recognizes the true dignity of both the man and woman. In this way, their relationship becomes a \u201csign\u201d to one another and to the community of something <i>greater<\/i>: an anticipation of that eternal union when we will all be \u201cone in Christ.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\">RELATED READING<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><em><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/human-sexuality-and-freedom-part-i\/\">Human Sexuality and Freedom \u2013 Part I<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><em><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/human-sexuality-and-freedom-part-ii\/\">Human Sexuality and Freedom \u2013 Part II<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><em><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/human-sexuality-and-freedom-part-iv\/\">Human Sexuality and Freedom \u2013 Part IV<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/human-sexuality-and-freedom-part-v\/\"><em><strong>Human Sexuality and Freedom \u2013\u00a0Part V<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"speaker-mute footnotes_reference_container\"> <div class=\"footnote_container_prepare\"><p><span role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_reference_container_label pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container_19612_1();\"><h5>Footnotes<\/h5><\/span><span role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_reference_container_collapse_button\" style=\"display: none;\" onclick=\"footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container_19612_1();\">[<a id=\"footnote_reference_container_collapse_button_19612_1\">+<\/a>]<\/span><\/p><\/div> <div id=\"footnote_references_container_19612_1\" style=\"\"><table class=\"footnotes_table footnote-reference-container\"><caption class=\"accessibility\"><h5>Footnotes<\/h5><\/caption> <tbody> \r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_1\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_19612_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_1');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>1<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">cf. <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/hell-is-for-real\">Hell is for Real<\/a><\/em><\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_2\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_19612_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_2');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>2<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">cf. Gal 6:1<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_3\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_19612_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_3');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>3<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">cf. Luke 6:36<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_4\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_19612_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_4');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>4<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">cf. Mark 8:36-38<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_5\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_19612_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_5');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>5<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">cf. <i>Relate post disceptationem, <\/i>n. 50; <a href=\"http:\/\/press.vatican.va\/content\/salastampa\/en\/bollettino\/pubblico\/2014\/10\/13\/0751\/03037.html\">press.vatican.va<\/a><\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_6\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_19612_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_6');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>6<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">\u201cGender theory\u201d is the idea that one\u2019s biology can be set at birth, ie. male or female, but that one can determine his \u201cgender\u201d apart from his sex. Pope Francis has condemened this theory twice now.<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_7\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_19612_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_7');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>7<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8216;May their witness become that more evident in this Year of the Consecrated that the Church is presently living.&#8217; cf. <i>Apostolic Letter of Pope Francis to All Consecrated People<\/i>, <a href=\"https:\/\/w2.vatican.va\/content\/francesco\/en\/apost_letters\/documents\/papa-francesco_lettera-ap_20141121_lettera-consacrati.html\">www.vatican.va<\/a><\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_8\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_19612_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_8');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>8<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">cf. Rev 19:7<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_19612_1_9\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_19612_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_19612_1_9');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>9<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">cf. &#8220;But it is equally true that it is exclusively in the former case that husband and wife are ready to abstain from intercourse during the fertile period as often as for reasonable motives the birth of another child is not desirable. And when the infertile period recurs, they use their married intimacy to express their mutual love and safeguard their fidelity toward one another. In doing this they certainly give proof of a true and authentic love.\u201d \u2014POPE PAUL VI, <i><a href=\"http:\/\/w2.vatican.va\/content\/paul-vi\/en\/encyclicals\/documents\/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae.html\">Humanae Vitae<\/a>, <\/i>n. 16<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n <\/tbody> <\/table> <\/div><\/div><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> function footnote_expand_reference_container_19612_1() { jQuery('#footnote_references_container_19612_1').show(); jQuery('#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button_19612_1').text('\u2212'); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container_19612_1() { jQuery('#footnote_references_container_19612_1').hide(); jQuery('#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button_19612_1').text('+'); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container_19612_1() { if (jQuery('#footnote_references_container_19612_1').is(':hidden')) { footnote_expand_reference_container_19612_1(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container_19612_1(); } } function footnote_moveToReference_19612_1(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container_19612_1(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery('#' + p_str_TargetID); if (l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery( 'html, body' ).delay( 0 ); jQuery('html, body').animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top - window.innerHeight * 0.2 }, 380); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor_19612_1(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container_19612_1(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery('#' + p_str_TargetID); if (l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery( 'html, body' ).delay( 0 ); jQuery('html, body').animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top - window.innerHeight * 0.2 }, 380); } }<\/script>","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 ON THE DIGNITY OF MAN AND WOMAN &nbsp; THERE is a joy that we must rediscover as Christians today: the joy of seeing the face of God in the other\u2014and this includes those who have compromised their sexuality. In our contemporary times, St. John Paul II, Blessed Mother Teresa, Servant of God Catherine de [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,41,1243],"tags":[62,63,72,258,1118,1231,1251,1252,1253,1254,1255],"class_list":["post-19612","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-journal","category-faith-and-morals","category-human-sexuality-and-freedom","tag-john-paul-ii","tag-benedict-xvi","tag-catholic","tag-woman","tag-sex","tag-sexuality","tag-dignity","tag-man","tag-purity","tag-chastity","tag-theology-of-the-body"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Human Sexuality and Freedom - Part III - The Now Word<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/human-sexuality-and-freedom-part-iii\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Human Sexuality and Freedom - Part III - The Now Word\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0 ON THE DIGNITY OF MAN AND WOMAN &nbsp; THERE is a joy that we must rediscover as Christians today: the joy of seeing the face of God in the other\u2014and this includes those who have compromised their sexuality. 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