{"id":51765,"date":"2025-02-12T21:15:08","date_gmt":"2025-02-13T02:15:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/?p=51765"},"modified":"2025-02-13T13:12:24","modified_gmt":"2025-02-13T18:12:24","slug":"10-keys-to-safeguard-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/10-keys-to-safeguard-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Keys to Safeguard Your Marriage","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-51766\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Christian-Marriage.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"590\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Christian-Marriage.jpg 1682w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Christian-Marriage-300x268.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Christian-Marriage-1024x913.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Christian-Marriage-768x685.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Christian-Marriage-1536x1370.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 590px) 100vw, 590px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Sometimes as married couples we get stuck. We can&#8217;t move forward. It may even feel like it is over, broken beyond repair. I&#8217;ve been there. At times like this, &#8220;for human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible\u201d (Matt 19:26). <br \/>\n<\/em><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><em>The following teaching, from an unexpected source, is God&#8217;s way of making all things possible \u2014 including the resurrection of a marriage that appears to be all but dead. If your marriage is in this place or even if it&#8217;s just starting out, I encourage you to read this through with your spouse, discuss it openly, and then make concrete decisions allowing God to work miracles in your relationship.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>If you are willing, my son, you will be taught,<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>and if you apply yourself you will become clever.<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\">(Sirach 6:32)<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>&#8230;if we walk in the light as he is in the light, <br \/>\nthen we have fellowship with one another<\/strong>. (1 John 1:6)<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><div id=\"buzzsprout-player-16614945\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t <script src=\"https:\/\/www.buzzsprout.com\/1172402\/16614945.js?container_id=buzzsprout-player-16614945&amp;player=small\" type=\"text\/javascript\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">or listen on <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/e6oAjnpZrIs\">YouTube<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<span class=\"mks_dropcap_letter\" style=\"font-size: 70px; color: #424242; \">E<\/span>verywhere I turn these days, it seems that marriages are buckling under the weight of immense trials. There are multiple reasons why, but to name a few: unhealed wounds, immaturity, selfishness, the secularization of society and its pressure on the family, rampant individualism, the collapse of catechesis in the Church and undoubtedly, <em>direct<\/em> spiritual attacks on marriages. Husbands and wives are the irreplaceable foundation stones of civilization. As St. John Paul II once said, &#8220;The future of the world and of the Church passes through the family.&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_1');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_1');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_1\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[1]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_1\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\"><em>Familiaris Consortio, <\/em>n. 75<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> Hence:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><b>\u2026the final battle between the Lord and the reign of Satan will be about marriage and the family\u2026<\/b>. \u2014Sr. Lucia, seer of Fatima, in an interview with Cardinal Carlo Caffara, Archbishop of Bologna, from the magazine <i>Voce di Padre Pio<\/i>, March 2008; cf. <a href=\"https:\/\/rorate-caeli.blogspot.com\/2015\/06\/cardinal-what-sister-lucia-told-me.html?m=1\">rorate-caeli.blogspot.com<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>However, this present reflection is not about the external problems we face as married couples but precisely how to pass through them with God&#8217;s help. For this, we turn to an unlikely source: the Catechism&#8217;s teaching on <em>prayer&#8230;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h5>Marriage \u2014 A Mirror of Divine Love<\/h5>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-51863 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/veil-1486238_1280.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"367\" height=\"550\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/veil-1486238_1280.jpg 854w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/veil-1486238_1280-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/veil-1486238_1280-683x1024.jpg 683w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/veil-1486238_1280-768x1151.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 367px) 100vw, 367px\" \/>The Scriptural passage that unlocks God&#8217;s saving help is found in St. Paul&#8217;s instruction on marriage:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ&#8230; This is a great mystery, but <em>I speak in reference to Christ and the Church<\/em>.<\/strong> (Ephesians 5:21, 32)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>How Jesus loves us, and how we love Him in return, is a <em>model<\/em> we can carry into our marriages. The model is based on our <em>relationship<\/em> with Christ, which the Catechism says is <em>prayer. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>Here, then, are 10 key points we can draw from the &#8220;mystery&#8221; of our relationship with God and apply it to our marriages. These have been life-saving to my own marriage and the health of our relationship. I will state first what the Catechism teaches on prayer (A), and then how this applies to Christian marriage (B).<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h5>10 Keys to Safeguard Your Marriage<\/h5>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">I. Relationship<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A. Do you have a relationship with God? The <em>Catechism <\/em>is clear on what defines that relationship:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>Man, himself created in the \u201cimage of God\u201d [is] called to a personal relationship with God\u2026 <em>prayer is <\/em>the living relationship of the children of God with their Father who is good beyond measure, with his Son Jesus Christ and with the Holy Spirit.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014<em>Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC)<\/em>, n. 299, 2565<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>If you&#8217;re not praying, you have no relationship. But what is prayer?<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>Contemplative prayer in my opinion is nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, 2709 (St. Theresa of Avila)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>If you&#8217;re not speaking to Jesus nor listening to His voice, there is no relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Consider how many Catholics go to Mass every Sunday and receive the Eucharist, which is a symbol of marital union: Christ literally gives His Body to His Bride, the Church, who then literally receives Him. And yet, how many leave this Sacrament unchanged, no deeper in love or knowledge of Christ than when they walked in? Indeed, whatever graces He wanted to give them are often squandered. Why? Because <em>they do not have a relationship with Him <\/em>outside of Mass, and that relationship is <em>prayer. <\/em>We need to cultivate a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/personal-relationship-with-jesus\/\"><em>personal<\/em> <em>relationship <\/em><\/a>with God outside of the Liturgy in order for that relationship to be fruitful \u2014 and to be properly disposed to receive the graces of the Holy Eucharist.<\/p>\n<p>B. So too, the healthy union of a husband and wife goes far beyond a regular sex life. Martial union can no doubt contribute to intimacy and growth in love and friendship, but not necessarily! It may even work against it if there is no relationship to speak of. Like Mass, it can devolve to simply going through the motions. Thus, it is essential for a husband and wife to &#8220;take time frequently to be alone&#8221; in order to allow a &#8220;close sharing&#8221; and listening to each other&#8217;s hearts.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">II. Relationship = Commitment<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A. As St. Teresa said, prayer means taking time alone. And thus,<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span class=\"text\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>&#8230;the life of prayer is the habit of being in the presence of the thrice-holy God and in communion with Him&#8230; Contemplative prayer seeks him &#8220;whom my soul loves.&#8221;<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, 2709, <\/span><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Hence, relationship requires the sacrifice of <em>time.<\/em><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span class=\"text\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>The choice of the <i>time and duration of the prayer<\/i> arises from a determined will, revealing the secrets of the heart. One does not undertake contemplative prayer only when one has the time: <em>one makes time<\/em> for the Lord, with the firm determination not to give up, no matter what trials and dryness one may encounter.<\/strong> <\/span>\u2014CCC, 2710<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness&#8230;<\/strong> (Matthew 6:33)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>B. When you&#8217;re dating and falling in love, making time for each other is no problem! But after the honeymoon when <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-51779\" style=\"margin-right: 9px; margin-left: 9px;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Time-Together.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"389\" height=\"260\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Time-Together.jpg 1800w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Time-Together-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Time-Together-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Time-Together-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Time-Together-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Time-Together-272x182.jpg 272w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 389px) 100vw, 389px\" \/>bills, babies, and biology kicks in&#8230; time somehow vanishes. One can&#8217;t simply leave this shared time together &#8220;only when one has the time.&#8221; A thousand things will get in the way. Rather, we have to &#8220;seek first&#8221; our relationship and <em>make<\/em> time for each other, even if it has to be scheduled and written on the calendar.<\/p>\n<p>When I make the &#8220;choice&#8221; with a &#8220;determined will&#8221; to put my spouse ahead of all of the other possibilities and demands, particularly my own interests, it really does reveal the &#8220;secrets of the heart&#8221;: is my spouse a priority? Are their heart and needs being met? Or am I only waiting for my spouse to meet <em>my\u00a0<\/em>needs?<\/p>\n<p>No matter what trials or dryness I experience in our relationship, it&#8217;s precisely these dedicated alone times together where we will open new wells of grace.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">III. Listening Brings Life Into Relationship<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A. Bishop Eugene Cooney once said to me that he never knew a priest who left the priesthood who didn&#8217;t first stop praying.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>Prayer is the life of the new heart.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, n.2697<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>If &#8220;prayer is the life of the new heart&#8221; given in Baptism, then clearly, <em>no<\/em> prayer life is the <em>death<\/em> of the heart. But is a healthy prayer life just a matter of saying prayers learned by rote or read from a book? On the contrary, it&#8217;s an attentive <em>listening<\/em> to the other.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong><span class=\"text\">Contemplative prayer is <i>hearing <\/i>the Word of God. <\/span><\/strong><\/span>\u2014CCC, 2716<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_2');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_2');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_2\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[2]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_2\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">The Word of God is living and effective, sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating even between soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12) <\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Even Jesus took time alone to listen to the heart of His Father.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_3');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_3');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_3\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[3]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_3\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;He went up on the mountain by himself to pray.&#8221; \u2013Matthew 14:23<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> So too&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p align=\"left\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>We cannot pray \u201cat all times\u201d if we do not pray at specific times, consciously willing it.<\/strong> <\/span>\u2014<em>CCC<\/em>, n.2697 <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_4');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_4');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_4\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[4]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_4\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;&#8230;when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.&#8221; \u2014Matthew 6:6<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_4').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_4', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Otherwise, we risk chattering at God throughout the day (if at all) but never stopping to listen to Him. It&#8217;s this very solitude with God that quiets our own hearts in order to <em>hear<\/em> His live-giving Word.<\/p>\n<p>B. Most marriages go on life-support when meaningful communication stops. It is not enough to simply exchange small talk here and there, grunt responses, or give half-hearted nods. We have to take time to <em>listen<\/em> to the other, &#8220;hearing&#8221; each other&#8217;s word. This listening, says the Catechism, is &#8220;<span class=\"text\">the loving commitment&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_5');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_5');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_5\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[5]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_5\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">CCC, 2716<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_5').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_5', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> that connects me to my spouse in order to hear and understand the other and learn what I must do to bear fruit in my marriage. <br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p>If your relationship has lost its life, at some point, it&#8217;s likely that you have stopped listening to each other for a number of reasons, not least among them, the wounds you may have caused each other.\u00a0 It&#8217;s time to begin listening to each other and allow God&#8217;s healing into your relationship&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">IV. The Foundation of Authentic Relationship<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A. Because we have a fallen nature and will continue to battle against the &#8220;flesh&#8221;, we are prone to fall in our weakness. Hence,<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p align=\"left\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>\u2026humility is the foundation of prayer\u2026 Asking forgiveness is the prerequisite for both the Eucharistic Liturgy and personal prayer.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, n. 2559, 2631<\/span><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\"><span class=\"text\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>&#8230;when we pray, do we speak from the height of our pride and will, or &#8220;out of the depths&#8221; of a humble and contrite heart?<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, n. 2559<\/span><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>B. Wounds will inevitably arise in any relationship, but especially between a husband and wife who share the same space and are called to &#8220;be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_6');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_6');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_6\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[6]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_6\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Ephesians 5:21<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_6').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_6', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> <em>Humility<\/em> before each other is essential. Just as God &#8220;does not deal with us according to our sins,&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_7');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_7');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_7\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[7]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_7\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Psalms 103:10<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_7').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_7', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> how much more do we need to deal patiently with another?<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-51773 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Forgiveness.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"372\" height=\"460\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Forgiveness.jpg 969w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Forgiveness-242x300.jpg 242w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Forgiveness-827x1024.jpg 827w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Forgiveness-768x951.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 372px) 100vw, 372px\" \/><em>Forgiveness <\/em>is a &#8220;prerequisite&#8221; to intimacy between spouses because it builds trust and respect. <em>Unforgiveness<\/em> is the soil in which bitter roots and judgments<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_8');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_8');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_8\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[8]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_8\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;See to it that no one be deprived of the grace of God, that no bitter root spring up and cause trouble&#8230;&#8221; \u2014Hebrews 12:15<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_8').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_8', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> spring up and find a place to grow, choking out charity.<\/p>\n<p>I need to humbly ask forgiveness when I&#8217;ve hurt my spouse and not justify sinful anger or hurtful words. When my spouse seeks forgiveness, Jesus reminds me to forgive &#8220;seventy-seven times.&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_9');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_9');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_9\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[9]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_9\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Matthew 18:22; Luke 17:4: &#8220;And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times saying, \u2018I am sorry,\u2019 you should forgive him.\u201d<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_9').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_9', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> This is especially important since our fallen nature, upbringing, particular temptations, character faults, immaturity, and unhealed wounds can see us often repeating the same mistakes.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy&#8230; <\/strong>(Matthew 5:7)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>Unforgiveness is lethal to relationships<\/em>. Even unforgiveness toward those outside your marriage will have an impact. Your heart is like a grape. If you cut it from the vine, there remains the facade of life, but slowly the grape begins to whither and die. So too, the person who withholds forgiveness toward others suspends God&#8217;s mercy and the flow of His graces, leaving one&#8217;s heart to wither in the heat of God&#8217;s justice.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_10');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_10');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_10\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[10]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_10\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;When you stand to pray, forgive anyone against whom you have a grievance, so that your heavenly Father may in turn forgive you your transgressions.&#8221; \u2014Mark 11:25<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_10').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_10', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/p>\n<p><em>Hurting people hurt people<\/em>. Don&#8217;t let the hurts your spouse or others have caused you to simmer for long beneath a false mask, pretending all is well, or giving them the cold shoulder (sometimes called the &#8220;silent divorce&#8221;).\u00a0 You are giving the enemy a chance to sow bitter roots. The longer you hang on to a wound, either by unforgiveness or not gently confronting your spouse with the truth, the more difficult these roots become to pull up.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_11');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_11');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_11\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[11]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_11\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;Love does not brood over injury.&#8221; \u20141 Cor 13:15<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_11').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_11', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/p>\n<p>On the other hand, the more you develop a relationship spending time together in mutual love and <em>listening<\/em>, the easier it will be to reconcile when inevitable hurts come.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak the truth, each one to his neighbour, for we are members one of another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil.<\/strong> (Ephesians 4:25-27)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">V. Balanced Relationship<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A. God, the Divine Physician, knows our hearts and needs more than anyone since He knit us in the womb. These needs are physical, psychological, and spiritual. Hence, this is reflected in prayer in five main movements:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong><span class=\"text\"><i>Blessing <\/i>expresses the basic movement of Christian prayer: it is an encounter between God and man.<\/span><\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, 2626<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong><span class=\"text\"><em>Thanksgiving<\/em> characterizes the prayer of the Church which, in celebrating the Eucharist, reveals and becomes more fully what she is<\/span>&#8230;<\/strong> <\/span>\u2014CCC, 2637<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong><em>Praise<\/em> is the form of prayer which recognizes most immediately that God is God.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, 2639<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>&#8230;by prayer of <em>petition<\/em> we express awareness of our relationship with God.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, 2629<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>In <em>intercession<\/em>, he who prays looks &#8220;not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.&#8221;<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, 2635<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>B. Perhaps you already take time alone with your spouse&#8230; but are you paying attention to your words? Our words carry the power of life and death.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_12');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_12');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_12\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[12]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_12\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire&#8230; With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who are made in the likeness of God.&#8221; \u2014James 3:5-6, 9<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_12').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_12', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> How do you use your tongue with your spouse? Are you constantly <em>dumping<\/em> all of your problems, negative thoughts, crosses, and complaints upon them? Remember, your husband or wife is not your counsellor, spiritual director, or therapist. They are your <em>spouse, <\/em>who should be one of your closest friends. For Jesus said to us:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>I have called you friends&#8230;<\/strong> (John 15:15)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-51780\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Listening.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"356\" height=\"535\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Listening.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Listening-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Listening-683x1024.jpg 683w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Listening-768x1152.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 356px) 100vw, 356px\" \/>What kind of friend am I to my spouse? Do I listen to and serve them first&#8230; or demand that they listen and serve me first? Do I tear them apart with my words or build them up? Someone who is always negative is draining&#8230; and one reason your spouse may be emotionally withdrawn from you.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up&#8230;<\/strong> <strong>Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt&#8230;<\/strong> (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Colossians 4:6)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Yet, there needs to be balance; we need to be there for our spouse in difficult times and let them vent without judging.<\/p>\n<p>Indeed, God <em>wants<\/em> to hear our petitions and intercessory prayers:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you.<\/strong> (1 Peter 5:7)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>As someone said, &#8220;If our focus is our spouse and taking care of their needs then our needs will be met.&#8221; That is not an absolute, but as St. Paul wrote: &#8220;Love never fails.&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_13');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_13');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_13\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[13]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_13\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">1 Cor 13:8<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_13').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_13', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> So it&#8217;s a pretty safe path. If you love your spouse, you want to acknowledge their pain and struggles and be present, within your capacity, to &#8220;bear one another&#8217;s burdens.&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_14');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_14');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_14\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[14]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_14\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Gal 6:2<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_14').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_14', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> We are not our spouse&#8217;s Savior; but we can certainly acknowledge their feelings and support them through mutual prayer and intercession. As Servant of God Catherine Doherty once said, &#8220;We can listen another&#8217;s soul into existence.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This isn&#8217;t about enabling destructive attitudes and bad behavior, but being a support to your spouse in a healthy way. Often when we seek to understand someone and just hear them out, they can better trust our perspective if not gentle correction.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_15');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_15');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_15\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[15]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_15\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;&#8230;even if a person is caught in some transgression, you who are spiritual should correct that one in a gentle spirit, looking to yourself, so that you also may not be tempted. Bear one another\u2019s burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ [which is to love one another].&#8221; \u2014Galatians 6:1-2<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_15').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_15', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/p>\n<p>Finally, just as there is <em>blessing<\/em>, <em>thanksgiving<\/em>, and <em>praise<\/em> in Christian prayer, there ought to be in your relationship with your spouse. Do I praise them for the good things they do, or just point out their faults? Do I thank them for the sacrifices they make, whether it&#8217;s the daily trek to a job, cooking a meal, or doing the laundry, or take these for granted? Do I bless them by meeting their particular love language (we&#8217;ll get to that shortly), or only respond when mine is being met?<\/p>\n<p>Be mindful of whether you are giving or taking, yet, without ignoring your genuine need to be heard as well. As Jesus said, &#8220;It is more blessed to give than to receive.&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_16');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_16');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_16\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[16]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_16\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Acts 20:35<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_16').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_16', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> In that regard, one could rightly call St. Francis of Assisi&#8217;s &#8220;Prayer for Peace&#8221; the &#8220;Prayer of the Spouse&#8221;:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>where there is hatred, let me sow love;<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>where there is injury, pardon;<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>where there is doubt, faith;<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>where there is despair, hope;<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>where there is darkness, light;<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>where there is sadness, joy.<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>to be consoled as to console,<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>to be understood as to understand,<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>to be loved as to love.<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>For it is in giving that we receive,<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,<\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">VI. True Love<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A. Our prayer life can often feel dry and difficult. But it&#8217;s precisely in these deserts that we <em>prove<\/em> our love for God who loves us unconditionally.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span class=\"text\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>The wonder of prayer is revealed beside the well where we come seeking water: there, Christ comes to meet every human being. It is he who first seeks us and asks us for a drink. Jesus thirsts; his asking arises from the depths of God&#8217;s desire for us.<\/strong> <\/span>\u2014CCC, 2560<\/span> <span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_17');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_17');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_17\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[17]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_17\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;The way we came to know love was that he laid down his life for us; so we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.&#8221; \u20141 John 3:16<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_17').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_17', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Of course, there is competition with our love for God:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>&#8230;a distraction reveals to us what we are attached to, and this humble awareness before the Lord should awaken our preferential love for him and lead us resolutely to offer him our heart to be purified. Therein lies the battle, the choice of which master to serve.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, 2729<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>B. Some marry with an eroticized idea of love (<em>eros<\/em>) without understanding that at the heart of Christian marriage, there must be <em>agape <\/em>love \u2014 a total giving of self. As soon as spouses turn inward, seeking after their own ambitions, passions and wants to the exclusion of their partner, harmony quickly evaporates and often devolves to outright <em>war.<\/em><span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_18');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_18');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_18\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[18]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_18\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;Where do the wars and where do the conflicts among you come from? Is it not from your passions that make war within your members?&#8221; \u2014James 4:1<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_18').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_18', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/p>\n<p>What are the &#8220;distractions&#8221; in your marriage that keep you from &#8220;loving to the end,&#8221; as Jesus did for us? Do your hobbies, sports, entertainment, and comforts come before your spouse? If so, this is a clarion call to &#8220;lay down your life&#8221; for your beloved. It doesn&#8217;t mean giving up your interests, <em>per se<\/em>, but being willing to sacrifice when necessary your wants for your spouse&#8217;s (and family) needs.<\/p>\n<p>Another attachment are <em>judgments<\/em> we hold toward our spouse. Judgments are powerful, capable of building impenetrable walls between you and your spouse. These are not just bitter roots but full-grown weeds. Be careful, because they will quickly choke out the good seed in your marriage and lead to utter destruction.<\/p>\n<p>St. Ignatius of Loyola has some beautiful advice on how to work through misunderstandings: always give each other the benefit of the doubt:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong><span class=\"text\"><span class=\"text1\">Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another&#8217;s statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.<\/span><\/span><\/strong> \u2014<em>Spiritual Exercises, <\/em>n. 22<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Replace <em>contempt<\/em> with <em>compassion<\/em>: choose to assume the best intentions of your partner, even if their delivery isn\u2019t perfect. When in discord, be very intentional about staying on topic and avoiding the temptation to resort to shutting your spouse down with a harsh tone and hurtful words. Let them express themselves, even when they&#8217;re wrong. And avoid bringing up past wounds that you&#8217;ve already forgiven, for &#8220;love does not brood over injury&#8221; (1 Cor 13:15).<\/p>\n<p>Another killer of healthy communication is <em>pride. <\/em>If I am defensive and refuse to admit the possibility that I am at fault, I can injure my spouse&#8217;s trust and even create a climate of fear or desire to even dialogue. On the other hand, <em>the truth will set you free<\/em> \u2014 even the hard truth that I sometimes need to hear from my spouse. This is why <em>humility<\/em> is the foundation of our relationship. It keeps our communication in the light and leads to deeper friendship and fellowship.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>&#8230;if we walk in the light as he is in the light, then we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of his Son Jesus cleanses us from all sin. If we say, \u201cWe are without sin,\u201d we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing. If we say, \u201cWe have not sinned,\u201d we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.<\/strong> \u20141 John 1:6-10<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">VII. Keeping the &#8220;Spark&#8221; Alive<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A. When you know that you are loved, it changes everything.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span class=\"text\" style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>Whether we realize it or not, prayer is the encounter of God&#8217;s thirst with ours. God thirsts that we may thirst for him.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, n. 2560<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>B. We often hear couples say: &#8220;We&#8217;ve lost our spark.&#8221; Well, it was never supposed to remain a spark! It was meant to grow into a flame and then a gentle fire to spread its warmth to your children, grandchildren, and community.<\/p>\n<p>It is not realistic to try and sustain the romantic intensity of our youth. Just as <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-51774 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Love-Language-2.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"379\" height=\"569\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Love-Language-2.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Love-Language-2-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Love-Language-2-683x1024.jpg 683w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Love-Language-2-768x1152.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 379px) 100vw, 379px\" \/>nature has its seasons, so too, do our marriages with the changes in a woman&#8217;s body after childbearing, the demands of family life and finances, the process of aging, menopause, etc.\u00a0 But this does not mean the flame has to go out. Romance dies when the <em>relationship\u00a0<\/em>dies. If you feel that your &#8220;thirst&#8221; for each other has waned, it may be because you are no longer speaking each other&#8217;s love language.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Gary Chapman has narrowed it down to 5 love languages. Learning your spouse&#8217;s love language is a practical way to meet their thirst for love with your love. This can fan into flame the embers in their heart because it shows that you also thirst for them, that you care. Expressing this love language, even if your partner is faltering on their part, is still important because you are loving without counting the cost. After all, you promised at the altar to be true to each other &#8220;in good times and bad, in sickness and health, till death do us part.&#8221; What is your love language? What is your partner&#8217;s?<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Words of affirmation: <\/strong>When words of affirmation is your love language, words build you up. You thrive on spoken affection, praise, encouragement, and compliments. Harsh words and criticism can bother you for a long time.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ol start=\"2\">\n<li><strong>Acts of Service: <\/strong>Anything that your partner does willingly to ease your workload is a sign of love to you. You feel cared for when your partner vacuums before you get to it or makes you breakfast as a surprise. On the other hand, broken promises or laziness can make you feel unimportant. \u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ol start=\"3\">\n<li><strong>Receiving gifts: <\/strong>When you speak this love language, a thoughtful gift shows to you that you are special. In contrast, generic gifts and forgotten special events have the opposite effect. This love language isn\u2019t necessarily materialistic \u2013 it could be as simple as receiving your favourite snack after a bad day.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ol start=\"4\">\n<li><strong>Quality time: <\/strong>To you, nothing says you\u2019re loved like undivided attention. When your partner is truly present (and not looking at their phone), it makes you feel important.\u00a0 Failure to actively listen or long periods without one-on-one time can make you feel unloved.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ol start=\"5\">\n<li><strong>Physical touch: <\/strong>Holding hands, kisses, hugs, and other touches are your preferred way to show and receive love. Appropriate touches convey warmth and safety, while physical neglect can drive a wedge between you and your partner. [Note: lust-driven affection is <em>taking<\/em> rather than <em>giving<\/em>. Even your spouse will feel used by such physical touch.]<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Put the above to the test! Love languages are the quickest way to discover the truth behind St. Paul&#8217;s maxim:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>He who loves his wife loves himself.<\/strong> (Ephesians 5:28)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">VIII. Trust<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A. There is a fundamental element of relationship that lies at the very heart of our fallen nature: trust.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>Man, tempted by the devil, let his trust in his Creator die in his heart and, abusing his freedom, disobeyed God&#8217;s command. This is what man&#8217;s first sin consisted of. All subsequent sin would be disobedience toward God and lack of trust in his goodness.<\/strong> <\/span>\u2014CCC, 397<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>Simple and faithful trust, humble and joyous assurance are the proper dispositions for one who prays the Our Father.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, 2797<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>This is why salvation cannot be bought. Paid for in Christ&#8217;s blood, it is a free gift from God that we receive through <em>trusting<\/em> in the Divine Creator.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_19');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_19');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_19\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[19]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_19\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;For by grace you have been saved through faith&#8230;&#8221; \u2014Ephesians 2:8<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_19').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_19', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> If humility is the foundation of prayer, trust (expressed in obedience to God) is what builds a home in our hearts for the Lord to dwell within:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him.<\/strong> (John 14:23)<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_20');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_20');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_20\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[20]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_20\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Jesus said to St. Faustina: <em>&#8220;The flames of mercy are burning Me \u2014 clamoring to be spent; I want to keep pouring them out upon souls; souls just don\u2019t want to believe in My goodness.&#8221;<\/em> \u2014<em>Divine Mercy in My Soul<\/em>, Diary, n. 177<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_20').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_20', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/span><\/p>\n<p>B. There is a deeper issue, one that will even render the expression of the other&#8217;s love language an empty exercise \u2014 and that is if there is a <em>complete breakdown of trust. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>A relationship without trust is like a barren foundation without a house. Trust is built through the frequent times spent alone, through attentive listening, through forgiveness, meeting another&#8217;s love language, and amending and changing the things in one&#8217;s life that are hurting the other. When you do this, you are essentially building a refuge for the heart of your spouse \u2014 what some call a &#8220;safe space.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>But if the walls and roof of agape love aren&#8217;t there, then even the foundation of humility \u2014 of someone who repeatedly says &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry&#8221; but never changes \u2014 is hardly a shelter for your spouse&#8217;s heart. One who has been &#8220;abusing his freedom,&#8221; like Adam did, may even see the genuine good he does viewed with cynicism and suspicion because trust has been broken.<\/p>\n<p>How do you restore fundamental trust in your marriage? I believe it begins especially with the husband, who has a special role in the union, as does Christ in His Church. Jesus took the initiative to love us <em>first<\/em>: &#8220;We love because he first loved us.&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_21');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_21');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_21\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[21]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_21\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">1 John 4:19; Matthew 20:28: &#8220;&#8230;the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.&#8221;<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_21').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_21', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> So the husband is called to lead the way in establishing a &#8220;house of trust&#8221; in his marriage.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>The husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the Church, he himself the savior of the body. As the Church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word.<\/strong> (Ephesians 5:23-26)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>The husband is the &#8220;priest&#8221; of his home.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>&#8230;the family home is rightly called \u201cthe domestic church,\u201d a community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian charity. <\/strong><\/span>\u2014CCC<em>, <\/em>n. 1666<\/span><\/p>\n<p>The man&#8217;s role is a spiritual principle and order established by God from the very beginning.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_22');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_22');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_22\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[22]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_22\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">cf. Gen 2:23, 3:16<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_22').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_22', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> It is the husband&#8217;s God-appointed role to &#8220;bathe&#8221; his wife and family in the Word of God by his living example and through family prayer, thus making the home a place <img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-51775\" style=\"margin: 1px 9px 1px 9px;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Husband-Priest.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"356\" height=\"338\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Husband-Priest.jpg 1263w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Husband-Priest-300x285.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Husband-Priest-1024x973.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Husband-Priest-768x730.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 356px) 100vw, 356px\" \/>where love and communication can grow.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_23');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_23');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_23\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[23]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_23\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Here is a concrete example of how this spiritual principle can play out&#8230; A study conducted in Sweden in 1994 found that if both father and mother attend church regularly, 33 percent of their children will end up as regular churchgoers, and 41 percent will end up attending irregularly. Now, if the father is irregular and mother regular, <em>only 3 percent<\/em> of the children will subsequently become regulars themselves, while a further 59 percent will become irregulars. And here is what is stunning: &#8220;What happens if the father is regular but the mother irregular or non-practicing? Extraordinarily, the percentage of children becoming regular goes up from 33 percent to 38 percent with the irregular mother and to 44 percent with the non-practicing [mother], as if loyalty to father\u2019s commitment grows in proportion to mother\u2019s laxity, indifference, or hostility.&#8221; \u2014<em>The Truth About Men &amp; Church: On the Importance of Fathers to Churchgoing<\/em> by Robbie Low; based on study: \u201cThe demographic characteristics of the linguistic and religious groups in Switzerland\u201d by Werner Haug and Phillipe Warner of the Federal Statistical Office, Neuchatel; Volume 2 of Population Studies, No. 31<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_23').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_23', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> It is a huge task, yes, but you have Jesus as both your strength and model.<\/p>\n<p>The word husband comes from the old English &#8220;husbandry&#8221;, which was to care for and cultivate crops, animals, etc. It has been said that a wife incubates what her husband gives to her and then she reflects back what has been fostered between them. This is exactly the spiritual principle that Jesus taught whereby the Church receives His Word as &#8220;seed&#8221; that, when received into good soil, will return &#8220;a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.\u201d<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_24');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_24');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_24\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[24]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_24\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Matthew 13:23<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_24').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_24', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> The type of soil in the home depends largely upon the husbandry of the man. If a husband is harsh, if he is worldly and intemperate, ruling over his wife with little mercy for her faults and weaknesses, then the second part of St. Paul&#8217;s teaching begins to fall apart:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord.<\/strong> (Colossians 3:18-19)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Being the head of your wife (and household) is not about bullying but leading; not dominance but direction \u2013 for Jesus is &#8220;meek and humble of heart.&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_25');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_25');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_25\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[25]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_25\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Matt 11:29<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_25').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_25', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> It is about caring for and cultivating the soil of your wife&#8217;s heart and planting within it the seeds of your service, gentleness, and life-giving speech.<\/p>\n<p>If we men fail to imitate Christ as head of the Church, then trust will deteriorate, emotions will rise or be buried, communication will be hampered if not dishonest, and the relationship with our wives will begin to suffocate. When we fail as husbands, wives are still called to heroic virtue:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives\u2019 conduct when they observe your reverent and chaste behavior.<\/strong> (1 Peter 3:1-2)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>But it&#8217;s still a dysfunctional state. The way to pull out of it is to begin rebuilding trust, starting today with committing to frequent sharing of your hearts and <em>humble<\/em> listening&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">IX. Learning to &#8220;Just Be&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A. Love between us and our Creator reaches its heights when we truly contemplate one another in a silent exchange of love.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong><span class=\"text\">Contemplation is a <i>gaze <\/i>of faith, fixed on Jesus. &#8220;I look at him and he looks at me&#8221; <\/span><\/strong><span class=\"text\" style=\"color: #000000;\">(said the Cur\u00e9 of Ars)<\/span><strong>&#8230; <\/strong><\/span><span class=\"text\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>Contemplative prayer is <i>silence<\/i>, the &#8220;symbol of the world to come&#8221; or &#8220;silent love.&#8221; Words in this kind of prayer are not speeches; they are like kindling that feeds the fire of love.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, 2715, 2717<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>B. One of the most beautiful hallmarks of healthy love, whether between us and God or between spouses, is the ability to &#8220;just be&#8221;; to look into one another&#8217;s eyes and <em>know, <\/em>without words, that you are loved. While learning to &#8220;just be&#8221; and not have to &#8220;do&#8221; all the time may be something you need to be deliberate about on the one hand, it&#8217;s also something that is eventually born as a result of deep trust and building on the foundation of humility. Once the walls of love are built, your marriage has at last found a beautiful refuge to find mutual rest in each other.<\/p>\n<p>If you are a busybody or have a busy mouth, learn to just be with your spouse, holding them silently after you&#8217;ve been intimate, being fully present to them without having to fill the air with words, or again, just giving your spouse time to process. Be quick to listen, slow to react. For the spouse that needs time to process in order to respond (like seeds that need time to sprout) afford them that healthy space for reflection and reorientation. Contemplation in prayer is also a time of processing and inculcating God&#8217;s love.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Do you take the time to bask in the lamp of your spouse&#8217;s eyes? Jesus said,<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>The lamp of the body is the eye.<\/strong> (Matthew 6:22)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>If it&#8217;s been awhile since you both stopped and just gazed into each other&#8217;s eyes, take each other&#8217;s hands and remember that &#8220;first love&#8221; you had for each other.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_26');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_26');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_26\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[26]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_26\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;&#8230;you have lost the love you had at first.&#8221; \u2014Revelation 2:4<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_26').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_26', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> I wrote this song for my Bride.<\/p>\n<p><iframe title=\"vimeo-player\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/147629960?h=c2586a4ba1\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">X. Your Interior Life<\/span><\/p>\n<p>A. While the focus of this reflection is on safeguarding your marriage, it should now be obvious of the necessity of prayer, that is, <em>your<\/em> relationship with God! It, too, will only succeed with an act of your will and openness to grow in love.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong><span class=\"text\">Prayer cannot be reduced to the spontaneous outpouring of interior impulse: in order to pray, one must have the will to pray. Nor is it enough to know what the Scriptures reveal about prayer: one must also learn how to pray. <\/span><\/strong><\/span>\u2014CCC, 2560<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong>I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing.<\/strong> (John 15:5)<\/span><\/p>\n<p>B. Your wedding day is your commitment; your marriage is living that out. It takes work, sacrifice, and heroic virtue. Every day, we have to &#8220;will&#8221; to lay down our lives for our spouse and children. It&#8217;s not enough to simply know what is written above but to courageously and determinedly make it happen.<\/p>\n<p>It is precisely through <em>your<\/em> personal relationship with Jesus, through a daily and committed prayer life, that you will become the man or woman you need to be for your spouse and family. It is in prayer that God heals, transforms, and molds you to be a life-giving husband or wife. For Jesus said, <em>&#8220;Without me, you can nothing.&#8221;<\/em> Indeed,<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><strong><span class=\"text\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\">Prayer attends to the grace we need for meritorious actions.<\/span> <\/span><\/strong>\u2014CCC, 2010<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>If you don&#8217;t have a prayer life, commit now to spending time alone, not only with your spouse, but first and foremost with God. This is the proper order for your life and marriage.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_27');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_27');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_27\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[27]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_27\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">&#8220;You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor [spouse] as yourself.&#8221; \u2014Matthew 22:37-39<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_27').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_27', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script><\/p>\n<p>Finally, it is essential that you pray as a couple, for before God&#8217;s eyes, you are &#8220;one body.&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_28');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_28');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_28\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[28]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_28\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Gen 2:24<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_28').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_28', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> By praying together, you invite the third partner in your marriage to dwell within you and help you in your struggles to remain united: the Holy Spirit.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><span style=\"color: #003366;\"><strong>It is the Holy Spirit, dwelling in those who believe and pervading and ruling over the entire Church, who brings about that wonderful communion of the faithful and joins them together so intimately in Christ that he is the principle of the Church&#8217;s unity.<\/strong><\/span> \u2014CCC, 813<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h5>God is your Goal<\/h5>\n<p>Here is an important caveat to all of the above: never look to your spouse for what only God can give, that is, the supernatural joy and happiness that comes through communion with Him. &#8220;My soul rests in God alone&#8230;&#8221;, wrote David.<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_29');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_29');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_29\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[29]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_29\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Psalms 62:2 <\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_29').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_29', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> If you try to seek this supernatural peace from your spouse, not only will you not be satisfied, but you may form emotional bonds that could lead to co-dependency, a cycle of dysfunctional behaviour, failed expectations, resentment and more. God gave us our spouse &#8220;because it is not good that man should be alone.&#8221;<span class=\"footnote_referrer\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_30');\" onkeypress=\"footnote_moveToReference_51765_1('footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_30');\" ><sup id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_30\" class=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text\">[30]<\/sup><\/a><span id=\"footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_30\" class=\"footnote_tooltip\">Genesis 2:18<\/span><\/span><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_30').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_51765_1_30', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top right', relative: true, offset: [10, 10], });<\/script> He or she is a companion to journey with you <em>to the heart of God<\/em>, not replace it. Again, the marital union ultimately points to the mystery of Christ and His Church. You <em>and <\/em>your spouse have a higher calling than your vocation: it is to become the Bride of Christ. Therein lies the fulfillment of all desire&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif; color: #003366;\"><strong>The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God&#8230; <\/strong><\/span><span class=\"text1\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\">\u2014CCC, 27<\/span><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>In closing, I want to share another love song I wrote that I have sung at weddings. It speaks of how the love of a spouse should ultimately point us to God. If your spouse is helping you grow closer to Jesus, be assured that you are living your vocation according to His purposes.<\/p>\n<p>Know that I am praying for all the married couples out there. Don&#8217;t lose hope. With God, all things are possible.<\/p>\n<p><iframe title=\"vimeo-player\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/829701226?h=df6fda6b31\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p align=\"center\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\">Related Reading<\/h5>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"font-size: 10pt; font-family: trebuchet ms, geneva, sans-serif;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/category\/human-sexuality-and-freedom\/\"><em><strong>Human Sexuality and Freedom<\/strong><\/em><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><strong><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">Your support is needed as we begin 2025.<br \/>\nThank you!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/donations\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Donateovalbtnonbeige.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"112\" height=\"48\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;\">To journey with Mark in\u00a0<strong><em>The <\/em><\/strong><em><strong>Now Word<\/strong><\/em>,<em><br \/>\n<\/em>click on the banner below to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/subscribe\/\">subscribe<\/a>. <br \/>\nYour email will not be shared with anyone.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/subscribe\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-25916\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/now-word-banner.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"469\" height=\"153\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/now-word-banner.jpeg 850w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/now-word-banner-300x98.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/now-word-banner-768x250.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 469px) 100vw, 469px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">Now on Telegram. Click:<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/t.me\/thenowword\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-46727\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Telegram-.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"55\" height=\"56\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Telegram-.png 500w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Telegram--300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Telegram--150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 55px) 100vw, 55px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\"><strong><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Follow Mark and the daily &#8220;signs of the times&#8221; on MeWe:<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mewe.com\/group\/6001b664d73c61322e27a39c\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-44298\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Signs-Banner22.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"584\" height=\"242\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Signs-Banner22.jpg 2000w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Signs-Banner22-300x124.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Signs-Banner22-1024x424.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Signs-Banner22-768x318.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Signs-Banner22-1536x636.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Signs-Banner22-640x265.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 584px) 100vw, 584px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\nFollow Mark\u2019s writings here:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mewe.com\/p\/thenowword\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-48548\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MeWe-Pages-Banner-Update.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"584\" height=\"197\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MeWe-Pages-Banner-Update.jpg 1880w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MeWe-Pages-Banner-Update-300x101.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MeWe-Pages-Banner-Update-1024x345.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MeWe-Pages-Banner-Update-768x259.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/MeWe-Pages-Banner-Update-1536x518.jpg 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 584px) 100vw, 584px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\" align=\"center\"><strong><span style=\"font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;\">Listen on the following:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thenoword.buzzsprout.com\"><br \/>\n<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/thenoword.buzzsprout.com\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/buzzsprout3-cutout.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"165\" height=\"43\" \/><\/a>\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/the-now-word\/id1519573192?uo=4\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/apple-podcasts2-cutout.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"162\" height=\"42\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/6sXnpNwaMtd5ja4MyA1YgX\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter  wp-image-43899\" src=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/spotifyPodcasts.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"164\" height=\"42\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/spotifyPodcasts.png 740w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/spotifyPodcasts-300x77.png 300w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/spotifyPodcasts-640x163.png 640w, https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/spotifyPodcasts-720x189.png 720w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 164px) 100vw, 164px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"\" data-block=\"true\" data-editor=\"f6hij\" data-offset-key=\"7ormq-0-0\">\n<div class=\"_1mf _1mj\" data-offset-key=\"7ormq-0-0\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" 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class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools\" style=\"display: none;\">\n<div id=\"highlighter--hover-tools--container\">\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-copy\" title=\"Copy\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-change-color\" title=\"Change Color\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<div class=\"highlighter--icon highlighter--icon-delete\" title=\"Delete\">\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"speaker-mute footnotes_reference_container\"> <div class=\"footnote_container_prepare\"><p><span role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_reference_container_label pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container_51765_1();\"><h5>Footnotes<\/h5><\/span><span role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_reference_container_collapse_button\" style=\"display: none;\" onclick=\"footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container_51765_1();\">[<a id=\"footnote_reference_container_collapse_button_51765_1\">+<\/a>]<\/span><\/p><\/div> <div id=\"footnote_references_container_51765_1\" style=\"\"><table class=\"footnotes_table footnote-reference-container\"><caption class=\"accessibility\"><h5>Footnotes<\/h5><\/caption> <tbody> \r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_1\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_1');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>1<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\"><em>Familiaris Consortio, <\/em>n. 75<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_2\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_2');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>2<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">The Word of God is living and effective, sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating even between soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12) <\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_3\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_3');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>3<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;He went up on the mountain by himself to pray.&#8221; \u2013Matthew 14:23<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_4\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_4');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>4<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;&#8230;when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.&#8221; \u2014Matthew 6:6<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_5\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_5');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>5<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">CCC, 2716<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_6\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_6');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>6<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Ephesians 5:21<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_7\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_7');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>7<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Psalms 103:10<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_8\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_8');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>8<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;See to it that no one be deprived of the grace of God, that no bitter root spring up and cause trouble&#8230;&#8221; \u2014Hebrews 12:15<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_9\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_9');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>9<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Matthew 18:22; Luke 17:4: &#8220;And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times saying, \u2018I am sorry,\u2019 you should forgive him.\u201d<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_10\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_10');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>10<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;When you stand to pray, forgive anyone against whom you have a grievance, so that your heavenly Father may in turn forgive you your transgressions.&#8221; \u2014Mark 11:25<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_11\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_11');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>11<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;Love does not brood over injury.&#8221; \u20141 Cor 13:15<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_12\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_12');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>12<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire&#8230; With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who are made in the likeness of God.&#8221; \u2014James 3:5-6, 9<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_13\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_13');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>13<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">1 Cor 13:8<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_14\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_14');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>14<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Gal 6:2<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_15\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_15');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>15<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;&#8230;even if a person is caught in some transgression, you who are spiritual should correct that one in a gentle spirit, looking to yourself, so that you also may not be tempted. Bear one another\u2019s burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ [which is to love one another].&#8221; \u2014Galatians 6:1-2<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_16\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_16');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>16<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Acts 20:35<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_17\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_17');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>17<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;The way we came to know love was that he laid down his life for us; so we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.&#8221; \u20141 John 3:16<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_18\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_18');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>18<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;Where do the wars and where do the conflicts among you come from? Is it not from your passions that make war within your members?&#8221; \u2014James 4:1<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_19\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_19');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>19<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;For by grace you have been saved through faith&#8230;&#8221; \u2014Ephesians 2:8<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_20\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_20');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>20<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Jesus said to St. Faustina: <em>&#8220;The flames of mercy are burning Me \u2014 clamoring to be spent; I want to keep pouring them out upon souls; souls just don\u2019t want to believe in My goodness.&#8221;<\/em> \u2014<em>Divine Mercy in My Soul<\/em>, Diary, n. 177<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_21\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_21');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>21<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">1 John 4:19; Matthew 20:28: &#8220;&#8230;the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.&#8221;<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_22\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_22');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>22<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">cf. Gen 2:23, 3:16<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_23\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_23');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>23<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Here is a concrete example of how this spiritual principle can play out&#8230; A study conducted in Sweden in 1994 found that if both father and mother attend church regularly, 33 percent of their children will end up as regular churchgoers, and 41 percent will end up attending irregularly. Now, if the father is irregular and mother regular, <em>only 3 percent<\/em> of the children will subsequently become regulars themselves, while a further 59 percent will become irregulars. And here is what is stunning: &#8220;What happens if the father is regular but the mother irregular or non-practicing? Extraordinarily, the percentage of children becoming regular goes up from 33 percent to 38 percent with the irregular mother and to 44 percent with the non-practicing [mother], as if loyalty to father\u2019s commitment grows in proportion to mother\u2019s laxity, indifference, or hostility.&#8221; \u2014<em>The Truth About Men &amp; Church: On the Importance of Fathers to Churchgoing<\/em> by Robbie Low; based on study: \u201cThe demographic characteristics of the linguistic and religious groups in Switzerland\u201d by Werner Haug and Phillipe Warner of the Federal Statistical Office, Neuchatel; Volume 2 of Population Studies, No. 31<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_24\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_24');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>24<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Matthew 13:23<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_25\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_25');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>25<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Matt 11:29<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_26\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_26');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>26<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;&#8230;you have lost the love you had at first.&#8221; \u2014Revelation 2:4<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_27\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_27');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>27<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">&#8220;You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor [spouse] as yourself.&#8221; \u2014Matthew 22:37-39<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_28\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_28');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>28<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Gen 2:24<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_29\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_29');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>29<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Psalms 62:2 <\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n<tr class=\"footnotes_plugin_reference_row\"> <th scope=\"row\" id=\"footnote_plugin_reference_51765_1_30\" class=\"footnote_plugin_index pointer\" onclick=\"footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1('footnote_plugin_tooltip_51765_1_30');\"><a role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" class=\"footnote_plugin_link\" ><span class=\"footnote_index_arrow\">&#8593;<\/span>30<\/a><\/th> <td class=\"footnote_plugin_text\">Genesis 2:18<\/td><\/tr>\r\n\r\n <\/tbody> <\/table> <\/div><\/div><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> function footnote_expand_reference_container_51765_1() { jQuery('#footnote_references_container_51765_1').show(); jQuery('#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button_51765_1').text('\u2212'); } function footnote_collapse_reference_container_51765_1() { jQuery('#footnote_references_container_51765_1').hide(); jQuery('#footnote_reference_container_collapse_button_51765_1').text('+'); } function footnote_expand_collapse_reference_container_51765_1() { if (jQuery('#footnote_references_container_51765_1').is(':hidden')) { footnote_expand_reference_container_51765_1(); } else { footnote_collapse_reference_container_51765_1(); } } function footnote_moveToReference_51765_1(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container_51765_1(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery('#' + p_str_TargetID); if (l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery( 'html, body' ).delay( 0 ); jQuery('html, body').animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top - window.innerHeight * 0.2 }, 380); } } function footnote_moveToAnchor_51765_1(p_str_TargetID) { footnote_expand_reference_container_51765_1(); var l_obj_Target = jQuery('#' + p_str_TargetID); if (l_obj_Target.length) { jQuery( 'html, body' ).delay( 0 ); jQuery('html, body').animate({ scrollTop: l_obj_Target.offset().top - window.innerHeight * 0.2 }, 380); } }<\/script>","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Sometimes as married couples we get stuck. We can&#8217;t move forward. It may even feel like it is over, broken beyond repair. I&#8217;ve been there. At times like this, &#8220;for human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible\u201d (Matt 19:26).<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3,48],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-51765","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-journal","category-spirituality","category-webcast"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>10 Keys to Safeguard Your Marriage - The Now Word<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.markmallett.com\/blog\/10-keys-to-safeguard-your-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 Keys to Safeguard Your Marriage - The Now Word\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&nbsp; Sometimes as married couples we get stuck. We can&#8217;t move forward. It may even feel like it is over, broken beyond repair. I&#8217;ve been there. 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