INDLELA Abahlobo bam bebekhe babandakanyeka kwindlela yokuphila yamafanasini, okanye bakuyo ngoku. Andibathandi ngaphantsi (nangona ndingavumelani nokuziphatha ngokhetho lwabo.) Ngamnye wabo wenziwe ngokomfanekiselo kaThixo.
Kodwa lo mfanekiso unokwenzakala. Ngapha koko, yenzakala kuthi sonke ngokwamanqanaba ahlukeneyo kunye neziphumo. Ngaphandle kokukhetha, amabali endiwavileyo kule minyaka iphuma kubahlobo bam nakwabanye abaye babanjwa kwindlela yokuphila yobufanasini banentambo efanayo: Inxeba elinzulu lomzali. Rhoqo, into ebalulekileyo kulwalamano kunye nabo utata Konakele. Uye wabalahla, ebengekho, ehlukumeza, okanye ebengekho ekhaya. Ngamanye amaxesha, oku kudityaniswa nomama olawulayo, okanye umama oneengxaki ezinzulu ezinje ngotywala, iziyobisi, okanye ezinye izinto.
Ndiye ndacinga iminyaka ukuba inxeba labazali lelinye lezona zinto ziphambili ekumiseleni utyekelo lokuthandana nabantu besini esinye. Uphononongo lwamva nje ngoku luxhasa kakhulu oku.
Olu phononongo lusebenzise isampulu esekwe kubemi yabantu abangaphezu kwezigidi ezibini zamaDanes aphakathi kweminyaka eli-18 nengama-49 ubudala. IDenmark yaba lilizwe lokuqala ukwamkela ngokusemthethweni “umtshato wesini”, kwaye uyaziwa ngokunyamezelana kweendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuphila. Kananjalo, ubufanasini kwelo lizwe abunambeko. Nazi ezinye zeziphumo:
• Amadoda atshata abantu besini esifana nesabo kunokwenzeka ukuba bakhulele kusapho olunobudlelwane obungazinzanga babazali-ngakumbi, ootata abakhoyo okanye abangaziwayo okanye abazali abaqhawule umtshato.
Amanqanaba emitshato yabantu besini esinye aphakanyisiwe phakathi kwabasetyhini abafumana ukusweleka komama ngexesha lokufikisa, abasetyhini abanethuba elifutshane lomtshato wabazali, kunye nabasetyhini abanethuba elide lokuhlala kunye nonina.
• Amadoda nabasetyhini "abanootata abangaziwayo" babencinci amathuba okuba batshate nomntu wesini esahlukileyo kunontanga babo nootata abaziwayo.
• Amadoda afumana ukusweleka komzali ngexesha lobuntwana okanye kwinqanaba lokufikisa ayenexabiso eliphantsi kakhulu lomtshato wesini esahlukileyo kunontanga abanabazali ababephila kwiminyaka yabo yokuzalwa eyi-18.
• Ngokufutshane ixesha lokutshata komzali, kokukhona amathuba ayephezulu kumtshato wobufanasini.
• Amadoda anabazali abaqhawule umtshato ngaphambi kokuba bafike kwiminyaka engama-6 yokuzalwa babengama-39% amathuba okutshata abantu besini esinye kunontanga abatshatileyo.
Isalathiso: “Ubuntwana boSapho obuDibeneyo beMitshato yabantu abathandanayo nabesini esinye: Isifundo seSizwe seQela lamaZwe amabini eziDanes,”NguMorten Frisch noAnders Hviid; Iingxelo zoLuntu, Okt 13, 2006. Ukujonga iziphumo ezigcweleyo, yiya ku: http://www.narth.com/docs/influencing.html
IMISEBENZI
Ababhali bophando baqukumbele ngelithi, “Nokuba zeziphi na izithako ezichonga ukuthanda komntu ngokwesondo kunye nokukhetha umtshato, isifundo sethu esisekwe kubemi sibonisa ukuba unxibelelwano lwabazali lubalulekile."
Oku kuchaza ngokuyinxenye ukuba kutheni uninzi lwamadoda nabasetyhini abanomtsalane wesini esifanayo abafuna unyango baye bakwazi ukushiya "indlela yokuphila yesini" kwaye baphile ubomi obuqhelekileyo bokuziphatha ngokwesini. Ukuphiliswa kwenxeba lomzali umvumele umntu ukuba abuye abuye abakuKristu kwaye ubadalele ukuba bangabo. Okwangoku, kwabanye, inkqubo yokuphilisa inde kwaye inzima, kungoko ke iBandla lisikhuthaza ukuba samkele abantu abathandana besisini esinye “ngentlonipho, imfesane, kunye novakalelo”.
Ukanti, iBandla likhuthaza uthando olufanayo kuye nabani na osokoliswa ziinkanuko ezichasene nomthetho kaThixo wokuziphatha. Namhlanje kukho ubhubhane wokusela utywala, ukuba likhoboka lemifanekiso engamanyala, kunye nezinye iingxaki zengqondo ezitshabalalisa usapho. ICawe ayikhethi bodwa amafanasini, kodwa ifikelela kuthi sonke, kuba sonke singaboni, sonke sinamakhoboka athile. Ukuba ikhona, iCawa yamaKatolika iyibonisile ukuzingisa enyanisweni, ayitshintshi ukutyhubela iinkulungwane. Inyaniso ayinakuba yinyani ukuba iyinyani namhlanje, kodwa iya kuba bubuxoki ngomso.
Yiloo nto eyenzela abanye, i nzima nyaniso.
ICawe… ijonge ukuqhubeka nokuphakamisa ilizwi layo ikhusela uluntu, nokuba imigaqo-nkqubo yamazwe kunye noluntu oluninzi luhamba kwelinye icala. Inyaniso, eneneni, itsala amandla kuyo kwaye ayisiyiyo kwimali evumayo. —UPOPE BENEDICT XVI, eVatican, Matshi 20, 2006
