I khumbula umfana othile weza endlwini yam kwiminyaka eliqela eyadlulayo eneengxaki zomtshato. Wayefuna ingcebiso yam, okanye watsho. Akandimameli! ” Wakhalaza. “Akufanelekanga ukuba azithobe kum? Izibhalo azitsho na ukuba ndiyintloko yomfazi-mfazi wam? Yintoni ingxaki yakhe !? ” Ndabazi ubudlelwane obaneleyo ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndazi ukuba indlela awayezijonga ngayo yayingathandekiyo. Ndiye ndaphendula ndathi, "Uthini uSt. Paul kwakhona?":
Nina madoda, bathandeni abafazi benu, njengokuba naye uKristu walithandayo ibandla, wazinikela ngenxa yakhe, ukuba alingcwalise, elihlambulula ngokuhlamba kwamanzi ngelizwi; ukuze alizise kulo ibandla linobuqaqawuli, lingenabala okanye mibimbi, into enjalo, ukuze abe ngcwele, angabi nasiphako. Ngokunjalo, amadoda amele abathande abafazi bawo njengemizimba yawo. Lowo umthandayo umkakhe, uyazithanda; (Kwabase-Efese 5: 25-28)
Ndiqhubile, "uyacelwa ukuba ubeke ubomi bakho phantsi komfazi wakho." Ukumkhonza njengoko uYesu wamkhonzayo. Ukumthanda nokuzincama ngenxa yakhe ngendlela uYesu awayethanda kwaye wancama ngayo ngenxa yakho. Ukuba uyayenza loo nto, ngekhe abe nangxaki 'yokuthobela' kuwe. ” Oko kwamcaphukisa umfana owathi ngokukhawuleza waphuma endlwini engxamile. Eyona nto wayeyifuna yayikukuba ndimnike iimbumbulu agoduke aqhubeke nokuphatha umfazi wakhe njengomsila. Hayi, ayisiyiyo le nto yayithethwa nguSt.Paul ngelo xesha okanye ngoku, umahluko ngokwenkcubeko ecaleni. Into awayethetha ngayo uPawulos yayilulwalamano olusekwe kumzekelo kaKristu. Kodwa laa mzekelo wobudoda bokwenyani uye wanyanzelwa…
PHANTSI KOKUHLASELWA
Olunye lolona hlaselo lukhulu kule nkulungwane idlulileyo luchasene nentloko yekhaya, umyeni notata. La mazwi kaYesu anokusebenza kakuhle kubutata:
Ndiya kubetha umalusi, zichithwachithwe izimvu zomhlambi. (Mat 26:31)
Xa utata wekhaya ephulukana nenjongo kunye nesazisi sokwenyani, siyazi ngokwamava nangokweenkcukacha-manani ukuba inefuthe elikhulu kusapho. Kwaye ke, uPapa uBenedict uthi:
Ingxaki yokuba ngutata esiphila kuyo namhlanje yinto, mhlawumbi eyona ibalulekileyo, isoyikisa umntu eluntwini. Ukupheliswa kobutata nokuba ngumama kunxulunyaniswa nokupheliswa kobukho bethu njengoonyana neentombi. —UPOPE BENEDICT XVI (UKhadinali Ratzinger), uPalermo, ngoMatshi 15, 2000
Njengoko bendikhe ndacaphula apha ngaphambili, Usikelelekile uJohn Paul II wabhala ngokuprofetayo,
Ikamva lehlabathi neleCawa lidlula kusapho. -Familiaris Consortio, n. I-75
Omnye unokuthetha kwinqanaba elithile, ngoko, ukuba ikamva lehlabathi kunye neCawa udlula ngotata. Kuba njengokuba iBandla lingenakuphila ngaphandle kobubingeleli besakramente, ngokunjalo, utata yinto ebalulekileyo yosapho olusempilweni. Kodwa hayi indlela abambalwa ngayo abantu abakuqondayo oku namhlanje! Inkcubeko ethandwayo iye yawucutha umfanekiso wobudoda bokwenyani. Ubufazi obugqithisileyo, nawo onke amasebe awo, kunciphise amadoda ukuba abe yifenitshala nje ekhaya; inkcubeko ethandwayo kunye nokuzonwabisa kuguqule ukuba ngutata kwaba yintlekisa; kwaye ifilosofi yenkululeko ityhefile uxanduva lomntu njengemodeli yokomoya nenkokeli elandela emanyathelweni kaKristu, imvana yedini.
Ukunika nje umzekelo omnye wempembelelo enamandla katata, jonga ukuya ecaweni. Uhlolisiso olwenziwa eSweden ngowe-1994 lwafumanisa ukuba ukuba bobabini utata nomama baya rhoqo ecaweni, ama-33 ekhulwini abantwana babo aya kuphuma aye ecaweni rhoqo, baze abangama-41 ekhulwini baphele besiya rhoqo. Ngoku, ukuba utata akaganga kwaye ngumama oqhelekileyo, kuphela i-3 ipesenti Abantwana baya kuthi emva koko baphinde babe nesiqhelo ngokwabo, ngelixa ezinye iipesenti ezingama-59 ziya kuba zizitenxo. Nantsi into emangalisayo:
Kwenzeka ntoni ukuba utata uqhelekile kodwa umama akahambi ngendlela okanye akenzi? Ngokungaqhelekanga, ipesenti yabantwana abaya rhoqo inyuka ukusuka kuma-33 eepesenti ukuya kuma-38 epesenti kumama ongagunyaziswanga ukuya kuma-44 eepesenti kumama ongaqheliseliyo, ngokungathi ukunyaniseka kukuzinikela kukatata kukhula ngokuhambelana nokungakhathali komama, ukungakhathali, okanye ubutshaba. . —TInyaniso malunga naMadoda kunye neCawe: EkuBalulekeni koTata ekuHambeni iCawa nguRobbie Low; ngokusekwe kufundo: "Iimpawu zedemographic yeelwimi kunye namaqela enkolo eSwitzerland" nguWerner Haug noPhillipe Warner weFederal Statistical Office, uNeuchatel; IVolumu 2 yeziFundo zaBantu, uNombolo 31
Ootata banefuthe elibonakalayo lokomoya ebantwaneni babo ngokuchanekileyo ngenxa yendima yabo eyodwa kulandelelwano lwendalo…
UBUNGQINA OBUNGUTHATA
ICatechism ifundisa oku:
Ikhaya lamaKristu yindawo apho abantwana bafumana isimemezelo sokuqala sokholo. Ngesi sizathu ikhaya losapho libizwa ngokufanelekileyo "yicawa yasekhaya," indawo yobabalo kunye nomthandazo, isikolo sesidima somntu kunye nesisa sobuKristu. -Katekisiki yeCawa yamaKatolika, n. I-1666
Ke, indoda inokuqwalaselwa umbingeleli ekhayeni lakhe. Njengoko uSt. Paul ebhala:
Ngokuba indoda le iyintloko yomfazi, njengokuba naye uKristu eyintloko yebandla eli; waye yena ngokwakhe enguMsindisi wawo umzimba. (Efese 5:23)
Kuthetha ntoni oku? Ewe, njengoko ibali lam libonisa apha ngasentla, siyazi ukuba esi Sibhalo sibonile ukuxhatshazwa kwaso kule minyaka idlulileyo. Indima yama-24 iqhubeka ithi, “Njengokuba ibandla eli liphantsi kukaKristu, ngokunjalo nabafazi mabathobele awabo amadoda ezintweni zonke.” Kuba xa amadoda esenza umsebenzi wawo wobuKristu, abafazi baya kube bezithoba kulowo ubelana naye kwaye ubakhokelele kuKristu.
Njengamadoda namadoda, ke ngoko, sibizelwe kubunkokeli obukhethekileyo bokomoya. Abafazi kunye namadoda bahlukile ngenene-ngokwasemoyeni, ngokwasemzimbeni, kwaye ngolungelelwano lokomoya. Bazi ziyahambelana Kwaye bayalingana nathi njengeendlalifa kunye noKrestu: [1]cf. IKatekism yeCawa yamaKatolika, n. I-2203
Ngokunjalo, nina madoda, hlalani nabafazi benu ngokuqonda, nibonisa imbeko kwabesini esibuthathaka, ekubeni siziindlalifa kunye nathi sobomi, ukuze imithandazo yenu ingathinteleki. (1 Pet 3: 7)
Kodwa khumbula amazwi kaKristu kuPawulos athi “amandla enziwa agqibelele kubuthathaka.” [2]I-1 Cor 12: 9 Oko kukuthi, uninzi lwamadoda luya kwamkela ukuba amandla abo, abo iliwa ngabafazi babo. Kwaye ngoku sibona imfihlakalo isenzeka apha: umtshato ongcwele luphawu lomtshato kaKristu kwiCawe.
Oku kuyimfihlakalo enkulu, kodwa ndithetha ngokubhekisele kuKristu nakwibandla. (Efese 5:32)
U-Kristu wanikela ngobomi baKhe ngenxa yoMtshakazi waKhe, kodwa Yena amandla iCawa kwaye imvusela kwisiphelo esitsha "ngokuhlamba amanzi ngelizwi." Ngapha koko, ubhekisa kwiCawe njengamatye esiseko kunye noPeter "njengelitye". La magama ayamangalisa, ngokwenene. Kuba le nto uYesu ayithethayo kukuba unqwenela ukuba iBandla lihlangule kunye naye; Ukwabelana ngamandla aKhe; ukuze abe "umzimba kaKristu", kunye nomzimba wakhe.
… Abo babini baya kuba nyama-nye. (Efese 5:31)
Injongo kaKristu yile uthandoUthando olungenakuthelekiswa nanto olubonakaliswe ngesisa esingaphezulu kwaso nasiphi na isenzo sothando kwimbali yoluntu. Luthando olo amadoda abizelwe kulo ukubaxhasa abafazi babo. Sibizelwe ukuba sihlambe abafazi nabantwana bethu kwiLizwi likaThixo 
ukuze ngaminazana ithile eme phambi koThixo “engenabala okanye mibimbi.” Omnye unokuthi, njengoKristu, sinika "izitshixo zobukumkani" elityeni lethu, kubafazi bethu, ukubenza bakwazi ukukhulisa nokondla ikhaya kwindawo engcwele nenempilo. Sifanele ukubaxhobisa, hayi amandla amakhulu kubo.
Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba amadoda afanele ukuba ziimpimpi-izithunzi ezincinci ekoneni abasilelayo lonke uxanduva kubafazi babo. Kodwa yinyani le yenzekileyo kwiintsapho ezininzi, ngakumbi kwilizwe laseNtshona. Indima yamadoda iye yabhitya. Amaxesha amaninzi iba ngabafazi abakhokela iintsapho zabo emthandazweni, abahambisa abantwana babo baye ecaweni, abasebenza njengabalungiseleli abangaqhelekanga, kwaye bade baqhube iparishi ngendlela yokuba umbingeleli asayine nje izigqibo zakhe. Kwaye zonke ezi ndima zabafazi kusapho naseCaweni zinendawo okoko ingekho kwinkcitho yokukhokelwa nguThixo ngokwasemoyeni kwabantu. Yinto enye ukuba umama afumane ukukhulisa abantwana bakhe elukholweni, into entle leyo; Ngenye into yokwenza oku ngaphandle kwenkxaso yomyeni wakhe, ubungqina kunye nentsebenziswano ngenxa yokungakhathali kwakhe okanye ukuba nesono.
INDIMA YENDODA
Kwesinye isimboli esinamandla, isibini esitshatileyo siyimfuneko yomfanekiso kaZiqu-zintathu oNgcwele. UYise umthanda uNyana kakhulu kangangokuba uthando lwabo luzala umntu wesithathu, uMoya oyiNgcwele. Ngokunjalo, indoda imthanda umfazi wayo ngokupheleleyo, kunye nomfazi indoda yakhe, ukuba uthando lwabo luvelise umntu wesithathu: umntwana. Indoda nomfazi, ke, babizwa ukuba babonakalise uBathathu Emnye Ongcwele omnye komnye nakubantwana babo ngamazwi nangezenzo zabo. Abantwana kunye nabafazi kufuneka babone kutata wabo umboniso kaBawo waseZulwini; kufuneka babone kunina umboniso woNyana kunye noMama weCawa, ongumzimba waKhe. Ngale ndlela, abantwana baya kuba nakho ukufumana ngabazali babo ubabalo oluninzi loMoya oyiNgcwele, kanye njengoko sifumana isisa somthendeleko ngoBubingeleli obuNgcwele kunye noMama weCawa.
Usapho lwamaKrestu lubudlelane babantu, umqondiso nomfanekiso wobudlelane bukaYise noNyana kuMoya oyiNgcwele. -IKatekism yeCawa yamaKatolika, n. I-2205
Ubaba nokuba ngumyeni kujongeka kanjani? Ngelishwa namhlanje, akukho mzekelo wokuba ngutata ofanele ukuvavanywa
. Ubudoda namhlanje, kubonakala ngathi bubhalansi obufanelekileyo bobukrwada, utywala, kunye nemidlalo yeTV rhoqo kunye (okanye okuninzi) kwenkanuko ephoswe kumgangatho olungileyo. Okubuhlungu kukuba eCaweni, iinkokheli zasemoyeni ziye zanyamalala epulpitini umfundisi abe esoyika ukucel 'umngeni le meko, ukukhuthaza abantwana babo bokomoya ukuba babe ngcwele, nokushumayela iVangeli engafakwanga lizwi, kwaye ke, baphila ngendlela ebeka amandla umzekelo. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba asinayo nayiphi na imizekelo yokuhamba. UYesu uhlala ungowona mzekelo wethu ubalaseleyo kunye nobugqibeleleyo bobudoda. Wayethambile, kodwa eqinile; uthambile, kodwa akalalanisi; ukuhlonipha abafazi, kodwa inyaniso; kunye nabantwana baKhe bomoya, Wanikela yonke into. Xa wayehlamba iinyawo zabo, wathi,
Ngoko ke, ukuba mna nenkosi nomfundisi ndizihlambile iinyawo zenu, nani nifanele ukuhlambana iinyawo. Ndikunikile umzekelo ukuba ulandele, ukuze, njengoko ndenze ngako kuwe, nawe wenze. (UYohane 13: 14-15)
Ithetha ntoni le nto? Oko ndizakujongana nokubhala kwam okulandelayo, yonke into ukusuka kumthandazo wosapho, ukuya kwingqeqesho, nakwindlela yokuziphatha kwamadoda. Kungenxa yokuba ukuba thina madoda asiqali ukuthatha ubuntloko bokomoya luxanduva lwethu; ukuba siyakutyeshela ukuhlamba abafazi nabantwana eLizwini; ukuba ngenxa yobuvila okanye uloyiko asithathi uxanduva nembeko eyeyethu njengamadoda… ngoko lo mjikelo wesono "osoyikisa umntu ebuntwini bakhe" uya kuqhubeka, kwaye Oyena Uphakamileyo uya kuqhubeka, hayi kwiintsapho zethu kuphela, kodwa nakwiindawo esihlala kuzo, ebeka ikamva lehlabathi emngciphekweni.
Into uThixo asibizela kuyo ukuba siyindoda namhlanje ayonto incinci. Iyakufuna ukuba sizincame kakhulu ukuze siphile ngokwenyani ubizo lwethu lobuKrestu. Kodwa akukho nto kufuneka siyoyike, kuba inkokeli nomphelelisi wokholo lwethu, u-Yesu-Indoda yabo bonke abantu-uyakusinceda, asikhokele, aze asomeleze. Wabuncamayo ke ubomi bakhe, wabuya wabuthabatha ngobomi obungunaphakade.
EZINYE IZIFUNDO:
Cofa apha ngezantsi ukuguqulela eli phepha ulwimi olwahlukileyo:
