Izixhobo Ezimangalisayo

ILIZWI NGOKU NGOKUFUNDA KWENKOSI
kaDisemba 10, 2013

Imibhalo yeLigugu Apha

IT yayisisiqhwithi esingaqhelekanga phakathi kwinyanga kaCanzibe, 1987. Imithi yagoba phantsi kakhulu phantsi kobunzima bekhephu elimanzi kangangokuba, unanamhla, eminye yayo isathobile ngokungathi ithobekile ngokusisigxina phantsi kwesandla sikaThixo. Ndadlala ikatala kwigumbi elingaphantsi lomhlobo xa kwafika umnxeba.

Yiza ekhaya, nyana.

Ngoba? Ndibuze.

Yiza nje ekhaya…

Ndithe xa ndingena kwindlela yethu, ndaziva ndinemvakalelo engaqhelekanga. Ngalo lonke inyathelo endalithabathayo ukuya ngasemva, ndaziva ukuba ubomi bam buza kutshintsha. Xa ndingena endlini, ndabuliswa ngabazali nabantakwethu.

Udadewenu uLori usweleke kwingozi yemoto namhlanje.

……………………………….

Ekupheleni kwehlobo, ndabuyela eyunivesithi. Ndakhumbula umama ehleli ecaleni kwebhedi yam, ngalamini phambi komngcwabo. Wajonga mna nomntakwethu ngobubele waza wathi, “Bafana, sinezinto ezimbini esinokukhetha kuzo. Sinokumbeka ityala uThixo ngaloo nto. Sinokuthi, “Emva kwazo zonke izinto esizenzileyo, kwakutheni ukuze usiphathe ngolu hlobo?” Kuba uyabona, abazali bam babengamangqina amahle ento ekuyiyo ukushumayela… bancedisa abafazi abamithiyo, kumntwana osindisiweyo ekuqhoshweni waba nguthixo wabo.

Kwaye ngoku, babeza kungcwaba intombi yabo ekuphela kwayo, eneminyaka engama-22 ubudala, iinyawo ezintandathu ngaphantsi kwekhephu.

“Okanye,” waqhubeka umama, “sinokuyithemba loo nto UYesu ilapha nathi ngoku. Ukuba Usibambile kwaye ekhala kunye nathi, kwaye Uyakusinceda sidlule koku.”

Ndithe ndisajonge efestileni yegumbi lam lokulala, kwaba ngathi umoya uphinde wathwala loo mazwi kum, amazwi ebengathi sisibane kum ebumnyameni bentlungu. “Thuthuzelani, bathuthuzeleni abantu bam...” utsho uIsaya kwisifundo sokuqala sanamhlanje. Umama, nangona wayebuhlungu kakhulu, wayenguKristu kuthi makhwenkwe ngaloo mini.

Kodwa ke, kukho into kum eyophukileyo ngoku. Xa ndandiqala ukujongana nesilingo, into ethile ngaphakathi—okanye mhlawumbi yayililizwi lomnye—yathi, “UThixo makavumele oku. enkulu into yenzeka kuwe. Angamelana nesi sono sincinane.” Kwaye ke, ndaqalisa ukulalanisa. Yayingengomlilo othe ngqo wemvukelo… idangatye nje elincinane lomsindo.

Kodwa njengoko ixesha lihamba, ndaqalisa ukunikezela ngakumbi, ngakumbi kubudlelwane bam namantombazana. Kungekudala, idangatyana lokulalanisa lalilutshisa uvuyo lwam. Ukuba netyala kwaqalisa ukundisinda, kundigoba okomthi otyunyuzwe likhephu elimanzi. Ndandiye ndikhale, “Nkosi, ndihlangule kum…”, kodwa, ndahlala ndilibanjwa lobuthathaka bam.

Kwiminyaka emihlanu kamva, emva kokutshata nomfazi wam owayeyinzwakazi, uLea, ndafumanisa ukuba ndandikhotyokiswe kukulalanisa “okuncinane” kwam. Ndazabalazela ukuba nyulu, kwaye ndaziva ndingenamandla kwaye ndineentloni. Okuphawulekayo kukuba kwakungelo xesha awathi iNkosi undibizele enkonzweni. NjengoMateyu noMagadala noZakeyu, iNkosi yandibiza phakathi yenkxwaleko nokwaphuka kwam!

Sekunjalo, ndatsala nzima. Ndandisiya rhoqo kwi-Confession, kodwa kwaba ngathi ndikhonkxiwe yaye ndingenamandla okuqhawula. Ngobunye ubusuku, ndisendleleni eya kuhlangana namanye amadoda kubulungiseleli bam kangangexesha elithile lokuthandaza nokucwangcisa, umphefumlo wam wawugobile ngenxa yokuphelelwa lithemba. Bendingeva nto ngaphandle kobumnyama nentloni. Ndithe xa ndingena egumbini, ndajonga ebusweni babahlobo bam, ndizaliswe nguMoya oyiNgcwele, ndizele luvuyo. Ndandiziva “njengegusha emnyama.” Bandinika amaphepha eengoma, kodwa into yokugqibela endaye ndafuna ukuyenza yayikukucula.

Kodwa njengenkokeli yendumiso nonqulo, ndandidla ngokufundisa izihlwele ukuba ukuculela uThixo sisenzo sokholo. Siyacula kwaye simnqule, kungengakuba isenza sizive kamnandi, kodwa ngenxa yokuba yeyaKhe. Yaye ukholo, kwanobukhulu bokhozo lwemostade, lunako hambisa iintaba. Kwaye ke, ngaphandle kwam, ndathatha elo phepha lengoma, ndaqalisa ukucula.

Ngequbuliso, ndeva oku kukhwankqisa uthando yiza phezu kwam. Izandla zam zaqalisa ukungcangcazela ngokungalawulekiyo. Emva koko ndazibona ngeliso lengqondo ndiphakanyiswa, ngokungathi ndikwilifti engenazicango, ndisiya kwigumbi elikhulu elinomgangatho weglasi eyikristale. Ndandizazi ukuba ndisebusweni bukaThixo; Ndaluva uthando Lwakhe olungakholelekiyo me. Ndabe ndibambe ongezantsi. Ndaziva ngathi ndingunyana wolahleko, ogqunywe ukusuka entloko ukuya eluzwaneni kwithambeka lehagu lesono, ukanti bendilapha, ndisongelwe kwiingalo ezinothando zikaBawo…

Kwaye nantsi i-icing kwikhekhe. Xa ndihamba ngobo busuku, amandla eso sono sasiphezu kwam phukile. Andinakuyichaza indlela uThixo ayenze ngayo, ndiyazi nje ukuba Wenzile. Ndandiphila amazwi kaIsaya:

Thethani kakuhle neYerusalem, nibhengeze kuyo ukuba inkonzo yayo ifikelele esiphelweni, lihlawulelwe ityala layo.

Ndandiyilaa gusha ilahlekileyo uYesu wayishiya “amashumi asithoba anesithoba” ngenxa yayo. Wandihlanganisa “ezingalweni Zakhe”, wandisa kum “esifubeni” sikaBawo, wandicinezela entliziyweni yakhe, esithi, “Ndiyakuthanda. Ungowam. Andisoze ndikulibale…"

Ukuza kuthi ga ngelo xesha, ndandingakwazi ukubhala ingoma yokomoya. Kwiinyanga ezininzi kamva, iNkosi yawuthulula uMoya wayo kum ngendlela enzulu. Ndaqalisa, njengoko iNdumiso isitsho, “ukuvuma ingoma entsha kuYehova.”

Ndifuna ukwabelana ngeyokuqala kwezo ngoma apha kwicwecwe lam lokuqala Ndihlangule kum. Le yingoma yesihloko: