OLUNYE Abangane bami kungenzeka ukuthi bebebandakanyekile empilweni yobungqingili, noma sebakuyo manje. Angibathandi kangako (yize ngingenakuvumelana ngokokuziphatha nokuzikhethela kwabo.) Ngoba ngamunye wabo wenziwe ngomfanekiso kaNkulunkulu.
Kepha lesi sithombe singalimala. Eqinisweni, kulimale kithi sonke ngamazinga ahlukahlukene nemiphumela. Ngaphandle kokukhetha, izindaba engizizwile kule minyaka edlule ezivela kubangani bami nakwabanye ababanjwe yimpilo yesitabane zinomucu ofanayo: isilonda esijulile somzali. Imvamisa, kukhona okuthile okuphawulekayo ebudlelwaneni babo ubaba akuhambanga kahle. Ubalahlile, ubengekho, ehlukumeza, noma nje ubengekho ekhaya. Kwesinye isikhathi, lokhu kuhlanganiswa nomama ophetheyo, noma umama onezinkinga ezinkulu ezakhe njengotshwala, izidakamizwa, noma ezinye izinto.
Sekuyiminyaka ngicabanga ukuthi inxeba lomzali lingesinye sezici ezinkulu ekunqumeni ukuthambekela ebungqingili. Ucwaningo lwamuva manje lusekela ngokweqile lokhu.
Ucwaningo lusebenzise isampula elizinze kubantu abangaphezu kwezigidi ezimbili zamaDanes aneminyaka ephakathi kuka-18 no-49. IDenmark kube yizwe lokuqala ukwamukela ngokusemthethweni “umshado wezitabane”, futhi waziwa ngokubekezelela izindlela ezahlukahlukene zokuphila. Kanjalo, ubungqingili kulelo zwe abunaso isithunzi. Nakhu okunye okutholakele:
• Abesilisa abashada nabangqingili banamathuba amaningi okuthi bakhuliswe emndenini onobudlelwano obungazinzile babazali — ikakhulukazi, obaba abangekho noma abangaziwa noma abazali abahlukanisile.
• Amanani emishado yabantu bobulili obufanayo akhushulwa phakathi kwabesifazane ababhekana nokushona komama ngesikhathi sobusha, abesifazane abanesikhathi esifushane somshado wabazali, kanye nabesifazane abanesikhathi eside sokuhlala ndawonye nomama nobaba.
• Abesilisa nabesifazane abanobaba "abangaziwa" babencane kakhulu amathuba okushada nomuntu wobulili obuhlukile kunontanga yabo nobaba abaziwayo.
• Amadoda athola ukushona komzali ebuntwaneni noma ebusheni ayenamanani aphansi kakhulu emishado yobungqingili kunontanga abazali babo bobabili ababephila ngosuku lwabo lokuzalwa lwe-18.
• Uma isikhathi esifushane semishado yabazali sifushane, kwaba ngcono amathuba okushada kwabantu bobungqingili.
• Abesilisa abanabazali abahlukanisa ngaphambi kokuzalwa kwabo kweminyaka eyisithupha babenamathuba angama-6% okushada ongqingili kunontanga abavela emishadweni yobuzali eqinile.
Isethenjwa: “Ukuhlangana Komndeni Wobuntwana Kwemishado Yobungqingili Nobungqingili: Isifundo Sikazwelonke Seqembu LamaDanes Ayizigidi Ezimbili,”Ngu-Morten Frisch no-Anders Hviid; I-Archives yokuziphatha ngokocansi, Oct 13, 2006. Ukubuka konke okutholakele, iya ku: http://www.narth.com/docs/influencing.html
IMIBUZO
Ababhali balolu cwaningo baphetha ngokuthi, “Noma ngabe iziphi izithako ezinquma ukukhetha komuntu kwezocansi nokukhetha komshado, isifundo sethu esenziwe ngabantu sikhombisa ukuthi ukuxhumana kwabazali kubalulekile."
Lokhu kuchaza ngokwengxenye ukuthi kungani abesilisa nabesifazane abaningi abanokuheha kwabantu bobulili obufanayo abafuna ukwelashwa bekwazile ukushiya "indlela yokuphila yobungqingili" baphile impilo ejwayelekile yobungqingili. Ukuphola kwesilonda somzali uvumele umuntu ukuthi alulame ukuthi bangobani kuKristu nokuthi ubadalele ukuthi babe ngubani. Noma kunjalo, kwabanye, inqubo yokwelashwa yinde futhi inzima, yingakho iSonto lisinxusa ukuba samukele abantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo “ngenhlonipho, ngozwela, nangokuzwela”.
Futhi-ke, iSonto likhuthaza uthando olufanayo kunoma ngubani olwa nezinkanuko eziphikisana nomthetho kaNkulunkulu wokuziphatha. Namuhla kukhona ubhadane lokudakwa, ukuluthwa yizithombe zocansi, nezinye izifo zengqondo ezikhathazayo ezichitha umndeni. ISonto aligcini ngokukhetha ongqingili, kepha lifinyelela kithina sonke, ngoba sonke siyizoni, sonke sibhekene nobugqila obuthile. Uma kukhona, iSonto LamaKatolika likukhombisile lokho ukungaguquguquki eqinisweni, okungaguquki kuwo wonke amakhulu eminyaka. Ngoba iqiniso alinakuba yiqiniso uma liyiqiniso namuhla, kodwa lizoba amanga kusasa.
Yilokho okwenzela abanye, i- Kanzima iqiniso.
ISonto… lihlose ukuqhubeka nokuphakamisa izwi lalo ekuvikeleni isintu, noma ngabe izinqubomgomo zezwe kanye neningi lombono womphakathi ziya kolunye uhlangothi. Iqiniso, impela, lidonsela amandla kulo hhayi kunani lemvume eliyivusayo. —UPOPE BENEDICT XVI, eVatican, Mashi 20, 2006
