Kupirira

KHAMA. O Ambuye, momwe ine ndikuzisowa izo.

Kodi ndichifukwa chiyani ndimagwa mwachangu chochepa kwambiri chochepa thupi langa? Ndatopa kwambiri ndikumva chisoni ndi zododometsa zanga, zinthu zopanda pake, komanso kutaya nthawi. Ndatopa ndikuvina kosalekeza ndi kufooka kwanga.

Ambuye ndagwa. Ndikhululukireni. Ine sindine woposa amene sakuganizirani kanthu. Mwina ali patsogolo kwambiri chifukwa amagwira ntchito yake molimba mtima, ngakhale kuti mapeto ake sali a ulemerero wanu. Ine, kumbali ina, podziwa bwino mathero a zinthu zonse ndi zomwe mtima uyenera kulunjika, ndikuthamangitsa mphindi, ndikusuntha kuchoka ku lingaliro lina kupita ku lina ngati kaiti mumphepo.

Ndachita manyazi, Ambuye, manyazi za kusatsimikiza kwanga. Chinyontho cha ulesi, dyera, ndi kudzikonda chikuchulukira pakhosi panga. Chifukwa chiyani mukuvutikira ndi ine ndi chinsinsi! Chingakhaledi Chikondi? Chikondi chikhoza kukhala izi wodwala? Kodi Chikondi chingakhale izi kukhululuka? Ngati ndi choncho, sindingathe kumvetsa! Ine ndikuyima wotsutsidwa _ wolakwa_woyenera kutayidwa kunja limodzi ndi iwo akumenya pa tsaya lako, kukupachika Iwe mobwerezabwereza.

Koma ndikadakhala ndi mlandu waukulu ndikadakhala kuti ndataya mtima. Ndiponsotu, chikhalidwe cha kunyada kovulaza. Ndi malo a Yudasi kuti athawire mwa kudzilimbitsa ndi kukhumudwa; ndi dera la wakuba wosalapa kuti apitilize kudzilungamitsa ndi khungu la chifundo chanu; zili pamwamba pamalingaliro onse omvetsa chisoni a mngelo wakugwa uja, kalonga wamdima uja, kuti akhalemo kunyada ndi kudzimvera chisoni.

Ndipo kotero Ambuye, ine ndikubwera kwa inu kachiwiri… pamene ine… wosweka, wofooka, wovulazidwa… wodetsedwa, wanjala, ndi wotopa. Ndidza - osati monga mwana wokhulupirika - koma monga wolowerera. Ndikubwera ndi kuvomereza kwanga kokonzeka, kulapa kwanga kopanda ungwiro, ndi mthumba mwanga lodzaza ndi chiyembekezo.

Ndabwera muumphawi. Ine ndabwera, ngati wochimwa.

… Taonani! Ndikuwona chiyani? Ndiye kodi inu, Atate, mukuthamangira kwa ine….!