"uJehova, Ngiphukile. Ngiyayeka."
Lawo ngamazwi aphakamise izindebe zami izikhathi eziningi emasontweni ambalwa edlule. Kusukela isiphepho esahlasela ipulazi lethu ngalolo suku lukaJuni, kube nokulingwa okuningi kwesinye isikhathi cishe nsuku zonke… izimoto zishintshana ziqhekeka, ukutheleleka emhlathini wami, ukuqhubeka nokuzwa kokuzwa okwenze izingxoxo zaba nzima nomculo uzwakale kabi. Ngemuva kwalokho ikhadi lami lesikweletu lasetshenziselwa ukukhwabanisa, uphahla lwaqala ukuvuza ekhempini yethu, futhi inkampani yomshuwalense yabuyela kithina ngomonakalo wesiphepho ithi ukuhlanzwa kulinganiselwa ku- $ 95,000 - kepha bazokhokha kuphela ama- $ 5000. Ngasikhathi sinye, umshado wethu nawo ububonakala uqhuma njengoba sekuvele amanxeba namaphethini adlule. Ngaphansi kobunzima, kwaba sengathi silahlekelwa yikho konke, ngisho nomunye nomunye.
Kepha kube nokuhlaba ikhefu okumbili esifushane "esivunguvungwini", imisebe yokukhanya enqamula emafwini aduma nokuduma kwezitimela okwethusayo kwemicimbi. Omunye kwakuwumshado wendodakazi yethu yesithathu nensizwa enhle. Kwakuwumkhosi ongcwele nomkhosi weqiniso. Cishe kuwo wonke umuntu obekhona, kushiye into engacimeki emiphefumulweni yabo. Kwathi ezinsukwini ezimbalwa kamuva, indodakazi yethu endala yamemezela ukuthi umzukulu wethu wesithathu wayesendleleni. Simemeze ngenjabulo ngalezi zindaba ezimnandi, njengoba bebelokhu bezama ukukhulelwa izinyanga. Kepha ngenkathi kufundwa iVangeli lowesifazane opha kakhulu kuleli Sonto eledlule, unkosikazi wami wancika kimi ukuze angitshele ukuthi wayesanda kufunda ukuthi indodakazi yethu manje isisu. Isiphepho sabuya nesikhukhula sezinyembezi.
Kufika iphuzu lapho amagama eqala ukungaphumeleli; lapho onke ama-clichés ethu obuKristu eza engenalutho; lapho konke umuntu angakwenza ukujuluka bese wopha futhi akhale: "Baba, kungenzeki intando yami kodwa eyakho." Bengilokhu ngicabanga kakhulu nge-Lady yethu ebimile ngokuthula ngaphansi kweSiphambano. Lapho sibhekene nokuhlupheka okungaqondakali, ukushiywa, nokungaqiniseki… asinawo amagama aqoshiwe avela kuye. Esikwaziyo nje ukuthi yena wasala lapho kuze kube sekupheleni okubabayo. Akazange azithintithe izibhakela zakhe kulabo ababangela ubuhlungu, kulabo abashiya iNdodana yakhe, kulabo ababengabaza, bahlekisa usulu noma bavele bahamba. Kakhulukazi akazange abuze noma asongele uNkulunkulu wakhe.
Kepha mhlawumbe, ngaphakathi enhliziyweni yakhe, wathi buthule, “Nkosi, ngiphukile. Ngiyayeka."
Kungokwemvelo yomuntu ukufuna ukuthola okuthile, inhloso ethile ngemuva kokuhlupheka kwethu. Kepha kwesinye isikhathi, akunampendulo. Ngiyakhumbula ngenkathi uPapa Benedict evakashela "ikamu lokufa" lase-Auschwitz ngo-2006. Emile emathunzini amade obubi obungaqondakali, wathi:
Endaweni efana nalena, amagama ayahluleka; ekugcineni, kungaba nokuthula okwesabekayo — ukuthula okuyikho uqobo okusuka enhliziyweni kuNkulunkulu: Kungani Nkosi, wathula? —Ikheli likaBaba Ongcwele, Meyi 28, 2006; v Vatican.va
Ngesikhathi seMisa ezimpelasonto ezimbalwa ezedlule, ngibheke phezulu esiphambanweni esilenga phezu kwe-altare. Futhi amazwi afika kimi ukuthi bengilokhu ngizama ukufaniswa nokuvuka kwakhe esikhundleni seSiphambano. Ngacabanga ukuthi ngabe uNkulunkulu uyasivumela yini lesi “sivunguvungu” ukuze aqhubeke “nokubethela” inyama yami ngqo ukuze ngikwazi ukuhlanganyela ngokwengeziwe ezithelweni Zovuko. Kungokufa kuphela ekufishekeleni komuntu ngokweqile nezifiso zobugovu lapho lokhu kungenzeka khona — njengoba uSt. Paul abhala:
Ngize ngithathe konke njengokulahlekile ngenxa yokulunga okukhulu kakhulu kokwazi uKristu Jesu iNkosi yami. Ngenxa yakhe ngikwamukele ukulahlekelwa yizinto zonke futhi ngikuthatha njengodoti omkhulu, ukuze ngizuze uKristu futhi ngitholakale kuye… kuye ngokholo ukumazi namandla okuvuka kwakhe kanye nokwabelana ngezinhlupheko zakhe ngokufaniswa nokufa kwakhe, uma ngandlela-thile ngingathola ukuvuka kwabafileyo. (Fil 3: 8-10)
Futhi-ke, angikuboni “nakancane lokhu kubamba iqhaza. Ngizwa ubumpofu bami kuphela, ukulinganiselwa, nokuntuleka kobuhle bami. Ngizizwa ngingenankulunkulu kimi, lowo mzila omkhulu wokuhlubuka ogijima kithi sonke. Futhi ngifuna ukugijima… Kodwa-ke kwathi kimi ngelinye ilanga uJesu akashongo ukuthi, “Kulungile, Baba, ngishayiwe futhi ngithweswe umqhele wameva. Sekwanele. ” Noma, “Ngiwe kathathu ngaphansi kwalesi siphambano. Sekwanele. ” Noma, “Kulungile, manje sengibethelwe esihlahleni. Ngithathe manje. ” Cha, kunalokho, Wazishiya ngokuphelele kuBaba — ukuze Akhe umugqa wesikhathi, Akhe icebo, Akhe indlela.
Futhi uJesu walengiswa amanye amahora amathathu kuze kube yilapho ithonsi ngalinye legazi Lakhe elalidinga ukuchitheka liwele phansi.
Nginibhalela namuhla ukuba ngilethe, uma kungenzeka, izwi lesikhuthazo kini enisezivunguvungwini zenu, noma ngabe ziyini, kufaka phakathi ubunzima bomshado. Mina noLea sabuyela ezingqondweni zethu, futhi futhi, saxolelana futhi savuselela uthando lwethu (ngicela ngithi uthando "olunganqamukiyo") komunye nomunye. Uyabona, kaningi, abantu bangibeka ezinyaweni njengohlobo oluthile losanta, noma basikisela ukuthi ngandlela thile ngithandwa nguNkulunkulu (nokuthi abayona). Kepha angithandeki neze kunoNkulunkulu-Umuntu, uJesu Kristu, uBaba amvumele ukuba ahlupheke futhi afe kabuhlungu. Angithandwa kakhulu kunoMama Obusisiwe, "owayegcwele umusa," nokho wayemiselwe ukuhlupheka kakhulu neNdodana yakhe. Angithandwa kakhulu kunoMpostoli uPhawuli omkhulu, owahlupheka kakhulu, wamelana, waphukelwa ngumkhumbi, walamba, nezithiyo, yize wakhethwa ukuba alethe iVangeli kwabezizwe. Ngempela, uPawulu wakhandwa ngamatshe washiywa ecabanga ukuthi ufile ngelinye ilanga. Kepha uLuka ubhala ukuthi wabe esengena kabusha eListra futhi…
… Waqinisa imimoya yabafundi futhi wabanxusa ukuba baphikelele ekukholweni, ethi, “Kuyadingeka kithi ukuthi sibhekane nobunzima obuningi ukungena embusweni kaNkulunkulu.” (IzEnzo 14:22)
Kuqhamuke elinye iphuzu ngesikhathi seMisa kule nyanga edlule lapho ngibone khona kafushane ukuthi uSathane ufuna ukwephula kanjani ukholo lwami. Ukube isonto belingenalutho ngalowo mzuzu, bengizomemeza, “Angisoze ngalahla uJesu wami! Yana emva kwami! ” Ngabelana lokhu nawe, hhayi ngoba nginokholo lobuqhawe, kodwa real ukholo, okuyisipho sikaNkulunkulu. Futhi ukholo olungeqiniso kumele ekugcineni lufunde ukuhamba ebumnyameni ngokungathi nge ubusuku obumnyama. Izikhathi eziningana kule nyanga ngizithole sengihleba…
Master, sizoya kubani? Nguwe onamazwi okuphila okuphakade. (Johane 6:68)
UPeter akazange akusho lokhu ngoba wayenezimpendulo. Kwakungenxa yokuthi yena ayizange. Kodwa wayazi ukuthi uJesu, Kuye uqobo, wayeyimpendulo. Impendulo. Futhi konke uPeter ayekwazi ukukwenza ngaleso sikhathi kwakungamlandela — ebumnyameni bokholo.
UJesu uyiNdlela, neQiniso, nokuPhila kwaleli zwe eliphukile… kulendoda ephukile. Okusalayo okwami, nawo wonke amadolo ukukhothamela leli qiniso elimangalisayo; kimi, nangazo zonke izilimi ukuvuma okwenziwe nguPeter. Kungaleso sikhathi kuphela lapho siyoqala khona ukwazi amandla — amandla amakhulu neqiniso — loVuko.
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