Out of My Control

 

It’s out of my control. 

I watched as yet another rain-packed storm passed by our drought-stricken land for the fourth week in a row. It’s so dry now that the leaves on some of the poplar trees have begun turning yellow — in July. It’s a helpless feeling to smell the rain, to see it fall in the distance, while the crunchy grass beneath my feet turns to powder.^[1]Ironically, this has been one of the coldest summers in memory! Well, I reminded myself again today: it’s out of my control.

 

God’s Permissive Will

So, too, is the world’s slow free-fall into darkness. I think many of us are standing on parched land, watching global events (such as the proliferation of hatred and war) helplessly unfold around us, knowing we can do nothing but pray and fast (which is no small thing). People are tired of evil. I am too. I often think of Servant of God Catherine de Hueck Doherty’s letter to Thomas Merton:

For some reason I think you are weary. I know I am frightened and weary too. For the face of the Prince of Darkness is becoming clearer and clearer to me. It seems he does not care any more to remain “the great anonymous one,” the “incognito,” the “everyone.” He seems to have come into his own and shows himself in all his tragic reality. So few believe in his existence that he does not need to hide himself anymore! —Catherine Doherty to Thomas Merton, Compassionate Fire, The Letters of Thomas Merton and Catherine de Hueck Doherty, p. 60, March 17th, 1962, Ave Maria Press (2009)

As Benedict XVI wrote in a letter to all the bishops: 

The real problem at this moment of our history is that God is disappearing from the human horizon, and, with the dimming of the light which comes from God, humanity is losing its bearings, with increasingly evident destructive effects. —March 10, 2009; vatican.va

Many people perceive this dimming of the light,^[2]cf. The Smoldering Candle but some are becoming increasingly anxious, afraid, depressed, etc. They may read the messages of Our Lady and feel a sense of despair. They wonder what the use is in planning the future — if it’s even possible. A friend sent this meme to me today:

 

The Divine “Out”

But there is an “out” from all of this sense of darkness, and that is to remember that everything unfolding now is within the permissive will of God. We seem to be watching in real time the “four riders of the apocalypse” begin to gallop across our horizon. But remember that the first rider is on a white horse, of which Pope Pius XII offered a consoling explanation:

He is Jesus Christ. The inspired evangelist [St. John] not only saw the devastation brought about by sin, war, hunger and death; he also saw, in the first place, the victory of Christ. —POPE PIUS XII, Address, November 15, 1946; footnote of The Navarre Bible, “Revelation”, p.70

So while God does not will evil and death, He allows it in His permissive will as part of His plan of salvation to triumph over evil. I don’t understand it all; none of us will until we’re on the other side of eternity. But the “out” is to say, “Lord, you have counted the hairs on my head. You know when a sparrow falls to the ground. You know everything. I offer up this broken world to you today. I offer my prayers and fasting for souls… but since You have given me the gift of yet another day, the gift of breath, I will indeed live today.” 

Many years ago, maybe 15 or more, a young man wrote me in a bit of a troubled state. “I want to write a book,” he said, “but when I see all that’s happening in the world, I don’t see the point.” I tried to counsel him as best I could to live in the present moment, to realize that none of us knows how long this dying era may stay on life support, and that we ought to follow God’s inspirations today, even if we were to die tomorrow. I often think of that young man and wonder if he wrote that book, which by now, could be in the hands of countless people. What a tragedy if he had, instead, buried his talent in the ground out of fear.^[3]cf. Matt 25:25

In 2007 when I wrote Trajectory, I cautioned then that there is a fine balance between being prepared and being anxious, between watching the signs of the times and living in the present moment, between heeding prophecies of the future and taking care of business for the day. I think the definitive answer to this balance comes from Our Lord Himself:

Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?… Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil. (Matt 6:27, 34)

This is the divine “out” that Jesus has given us about the future, whether it’s our personal future or that of the world’s. There was no caveat to that Scripture; Jesus did not place an expiry date on that passage. It applies for all time. Sure, Jesus tells us to pay attention to the “signs” of the times, to “watch and pray.” St. Paul says we should remain “sober and alert.” But sober and alert is not the same as anxious and grim. It’s rather a matter of being “shrewd as serpents and simple as doves.”^[4]Matt 16:16 It’s knowing that we are among wolves… but trusting that we have a Great Shepherd holding the rod of His protection and the Staff of His guidance above us. He will watch over us, whether we are living through times of peace or traversing the valley of the shadow of death, indeed, the apocalypse itself.^[5]cf. Life in the Apocalypse

It’s out of my control. So Jesus, I trust in You. But I still pray for rain… 

 

Related Reading

Preparing for Reign

 

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Thank you!

 

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