God forgive the USA. Normally I would begin with God Bless the USA, but today how could any of us ask him to bless what is happening here? We are living in a world that is growing more and more dark. The light of love is fading, and it takes all my strength to keep this little flame burning in my heart. But for Jesus, I keep it burning still. I beg God our Father to help me understand, and to discern what is happening to our world, but He is suddenly so silent. I look to those trusted prophets of these days who I believe are speaking the truth; you, and others whose blogs and writings I would read daily for strength and wisdom and encouragement. But all of you have become silent too. Posts that would appear daily, turned to weekly, and then monthly, and even in some cases yearly. Has God stopped speaking to all of us? Has God turned His holy face from us? After all how could His perfect holiness bear to look upon our sin…?
DEAR reader, you are not the only one who has sensed a “shift” in the spiritual realm. I may be wrong, but I believe the time of giving “warnings” is really drawing to a close. Once the nose of the Titanic began to tilt in the air, it was pretty clear to any remaining doubters that it was a ship that was going to go down. So too, the signs are all around us that our world has reached a tipping point. People can see this, even those who are not particularly “religious.” It is becoming redundant to warn people that the ship is sinking when they’re already looking for a lifeboat.
Has God turned His back on us? Has He abandoned us? Is He silent?
Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. See, upon the palms of my hands I have engraved you(Isaiah 49:15-16)
My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish. No one can take them out of my hand. (John 10:27)
So you see, God has His people carved in His hand, and no one is going to steal them from Him. And they will hear His voice. But this flock needs to be purified so as to enter more fully into His plan of salvation for the world. And thus, as a Good Shepherd, He is now leading His people into the desert. There in the desert of trials, temptations, doubts, fears, sorrows, darkness, dryness, and seeming silence, true faith is tested. And if we persevere, if we do not flee this desert, then our faith will be purified. Then we can become a holy people, souls that carry the light of Christ into the darkness of this world; people that reveal to others the face of Jesus, the face of love, joy and peace—even as the ship is sinking.
This is not mystical gobbely-gook. It is the reality of what God is doing today, and each of us must personally choose now whose side we are going to be on. Whether we will follow the wide or narrow road. And a shudder goes through my soul as I see so many souls fleeing this desert, abandoning their faith, giving up. It can rightly be said that we are witnessing a mass apostasy from the faith all over the world, but especially in the post-Christian nations of the West. The decay of society and aspects of the Church itself are accelerating so quickly, that it truly is breathtaking to witness the collapse of civilization in real-time.
Since last writing here in early June, I have taken time away to pray, reflect, and ask some serious questions about my apostolate and family life. What is Jesus asking of me, especially when I am borrowing money just to feed my family? What am I doing wrong? What must I change?
These have been difficult questions, and it seems that in order to answer them, the Lord has taken me into the heart of the desert night, into the deepest of desolations. I have often recalled the words of Mother Teresa:
The place of God in my soul is blank. There is no God in me. When the pain of longing is so great—I just long & long for God… and then it is that I feel He does not want me—He is not there—God does not want me. —Mother Teresa, Come By My Light, Brian Kolodiejchuk, M.C.; pg. 2
During this time, I have received letters on a daily basis from readers around the world offering words of encouragement, support, and like the reader above, wondering why I have “disappeared.” I want to tell each of you that your letters were a gentle mist from Jesus that made the desert dryness a little more bearable. I also want to thank you for understanding that I needed this time, as I wrote in June, to pray and reflect, to “come away” and rest for awhile. Well, it hasn’t been all that restful, to be honest! This is the time of year when the demands on the farm in the hay season are around the clock. Nonetheless, sitting on the tractor affords one the grace to do a lot of thinking and praying.
WHAT HE’S ASKING
I have come to one single conclusion in this time. The most important thing is that I am obedient to Jesus. Whether it’s hot or cold, rainy or sunny, pleasant or uncomfortable, I am called to be obedient to the will of God in all things. Jesus said something so simple, that perhaps we easily miss it:
If you love me, you will keep my commandments. (John 14:15)
The love of God is to keep His commandments. We live in a world today that seems to tempt and tease us at every turn of the day. But even in this, we must remain faithful. For we also have tools in our hands that many Christians in the past did not: an actual printed bible, legions of books, spiritual teachings on CD’s and videos, 24 hour radio and television stations broadcasting inspiration and truth, etc. We have the weapons of warfare at our finger tips, not to mention 2000 years of theology that has unfolded such that we have a deeper understanding of our Faith than even the Apostles. Most significantly, we have daily Mass and weekly Confession at our fingertips. We have everything we need to combat the spirit of anti-Christ in our times, most especially, the indwelling Trinity.
The most important thing for you and I right now is not to understand the “end times” or to have a firm grasp on apologetics or even to be busy in a ministry… but to be faithful to Jesus, right now, in this moment, wherever you are. Faithful with your mouth, your eyes, your hands, your senses…. with your whole body, soul, spirit and strength.
In reality, holiness consists of one thing only: complete loyalty to God’s will…. You are seeking for secret ways of belonging to God, but there is only one: making use of whatever He offers you…. The great and firm foundation of the spiritual life is the offering of ourselves to God and being subject to His will in all things…. God truly helps us however much we may feel we have lost His support. —Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, Abandonment to Divine Providence
Last week, I spoke with my spiritual director. It was a grace-filled time when phantoms of the night fled and the hand of Jesus reached into the abyss and pulled me to my feet. My director said, “There are many voices today that are blaspheming God. You are to be His voice crying out in the wilderness…”
Those words affirmed in my soul what I feel I was born for: to be His voice, pointing to Jesus “the light of the world” in the growing darkness.
My dear wife Lea and I prayed together. We have laid down everything at the feet of God. We will continue to devote ourselves to spreading the Gospel until the last penny of credit is used. Yes, it sounds wreckless, but we don’t have much choice at this point—not for a family our size. We have entertained selling everything, but real estate is so high now in Canada, that the options for a family our size are next to nothing (we’ve been looking for months). And so, we will remain where we are until God shows us otherwise.
My duties on the farm are still quite intensive right now. But when they’re done later this summer, I wish to resume writing you and bringing back my webcast into more regularity. What will I say? Of course, only God knows. But my deepest sense right now is that He wants to encourage and give us hope. He wants us to focus on Him, not on the waves crashing against the ship. For you see, many indeed recognize that the ship is sinking and they are looking for whatever lifeboat they can find. I feel my task more than ever, then, is to show them the Lifeboat, who is Jesus Christ.
True, brothers and sisters, the day is coming—and in some ways is already here—when the words of Amos will be fulfilled:
“Behold, the days are coming,” says the Lord God, “when I will send a famine on the land; not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the Lord. They shall wander from sea to sea, and from north to east; they shall run to and fro, to seek the word of the Lord, but they shall not find it.” (Amos 8:11-12)
But for those who respond to Jesus and to His Mother’s pleas in this time, they will not have to search. For the Word will be in them. Christ will dwell in them like a living flame while the world scrambles in utter darkness. read The Smoldering Candle So do not be afraid. Rather, in this time of testing, be faithful, be obedient, and pray with all your heart. Pray from the heart. Pray when it’s cold. Pray when it’s dry. Pray when you don’t want to pray. And when you least expect it, He will come to you and say,
See, see, you’ve never been far from Me…
With that, I want to share with you a song from my new album (Vulnerable) called “See, See”. I pray it will give you hope and courage in these exciting and challenging times. Thank you to everyone for your incredible support, donations, love and prayers. Both Lea and I have been deeply blessed by your kindness and presence.
Your servant in Jesus,
Click the title below to hear the song:
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